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Opinions needed please guys

Jack77

War Hero
Mate, bin the girlie. Plenty of others where you will be going. Like others here, I have never any good come of ditching the mob for a woman.
 

shellbackmac

Lantern Swinger
Get yourself down the Harbour Lights/Wheelers whilst at Raleigh, if you are SMQ South Jesters or any other pick-up joint on Union Strasse, if you are in the Pompey area for training Emma's is still going strong and Commercial walk is wall to wall clubs and pubs, if SMQ North Helensburgh is only a train ride from one of the best nights out in the UK....in short my friend there is more 'Jack n' Danny' out there than your 'old man' could possibly handle!! And after several years of enjoying yourself you WILL meet someone who will do it to you on a regular basis because she likes you and not because you are buying the wets! And we haven't even started on UK runs and of course the places around this planet that you have obviously spent many a chucklesome hour reading about and how the rest of us have spent our time 'in' seeking 'horizontal refreshment'!!!!!
Life is short dude, the RN is a passport to enjoyment, get enjoying yourself!!!!
 

Polycell

War Hero
Fer gawds sake like I said ages ago ditch her before she ditches you. What do you think we are your DO?
 
I almost left the mob a few years ago for a girl in London. I submitted my 18 months notice and with only 3 weeks left I ditched her. I'd been with her for 2 years and it was only at the end I had to make a painful decision, leave the job I love for some gash job back home or ditch the bird that was trying to rule my life. Simple fact, my job won, she's now in a gutter somewhere, I'm married with a kid and lifes a breeze. The point is don't let someone else ruin your ambitions, if she can't handle it (and it sounds like she's looking for an excuse) do one, you'll meet so many other girls on many run ashores either in the UK or abroad.
 

theoldti

Lantern Swinger
Met my girl after I had started the process of joining. She had some reservations and we agreed to give the relationship a go and not make any hasty decisions about splitting up/ditching the mob.
That was 22 years ago, we have just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and, although we have our ups and downs, we still love each other and have no regrets.
As to joining "skimmers", the submarine service should give her the peace of mind that you are away with a load of fellas and not at sea on a floating hotel with tits and arse on tap. Sell it to her that way and see what she says.
Good luck.
 
She is quite right, this could be the start of the end, equally it could be the making of the relationship, who knows. Just because you have been together for 4 years does not mean 40 is guaranteed. Some relationships last some don't, that's life. Some reationships thrive on separation, some don't. The fact you both see there could be problems is good, one you will both be aware and probably try harder. Equally if it all goes tits up you are both prepared to some extent.

One thing I can be sure about is that if you are as keen on joining up as you say if you don't to 'save' the relationship it will fail, being stopped fulfilling your ambition will nibble away at the relationship till it finally becomes a bl**dy big wedge.

Good luck and if it works out it was meant to, if it doesn't it probably really has little to do with your joining up, it would most likely have failed any way.
 
Polycell said:
Fer gawds sake like I said ages ago ditch her before she ditches you. What do you think we are your DO?

Lighten up Polly, until he gets through the gates we are the nearest thing he has to a DO
 

Chaz

MIA
theoldti said:
Met my girl after I had started the process of joining. She had some reservations and we agreed to give the relationship a go and not make any hasty decisions about splitting up/ditching the mob.
That was 22 years ago, we have just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and, although we have our ups and downs, we still love each other and have no regrets.
As to joining "skimmers", the submarine service should give her the peace of mind that you are away with a load of fellas and not at sea on a floating hotel with tits and arse on tap. Sell it to her that way and see what she says.
Good luck.

What ships have you been on!!!!!!
 

OSLO

War Hero
Firm believer in the KISS principle (keep it simple, stupid). Give it 6 months. Separation is coped with by some gfs and not others. OTOH, maybe you don't enjoy life in a blue suit. But to maintain a relationship in the RN, and when one of you is a submariner requires a strong relationship with an independent other half who can cope with life on her own and little news from her hubbie.
 

theoldti

Lantern Swinger
Chaz said:
theoldti said:
Met my girl after I had started the process of joining. She had some reservations and we agreed to give the relationship a go and not make any hasty decisions about splitting up/ditching the mob.
That was 22 years ago, we have just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and, although we have our ups and downs, we still love each other and have no regrets.
As to joining "skimmers", the submarine service should give her the peace of mind that you are away with a load of fellas and not at sea on a floating hotel with tits and arse on tap. Sell it to her that way and see what she says.
Good luck.

What ships have you been on!!!!!!

None, thats probably how I am still married!!!!!!!
 

NorthernSub

Badgeman
You guys on here on here are a bunch of stars, thank you again for the help and advice, I think i'm gonna let things run their own path for the time being. I know shes not liking the idea of me on boats (cos shes thinks i'll drown easier than if I was on skimmers), i've tried to reassure her and i will continue to do so.

However, until i've actually started at Raleigh and then on to submariner training, I don't know yet exactly how shes gonna cope. If after 4 weeks of basic training when I go home for Xmas, shes says not liking it at all, i'll know exactly what I have to do. The longest we've ever spent without seeing each other is two weeks, we've still spoken though in that time.

I think the biggest and the most real test wll come when I go on my first deployment, thats of course if we get that far. I don't want to give up on four years just yet but I just have that not good feeling inside me. Knowing the sort of person she is and as much as I love her, I just don't think she is mentally and emotionally strong enough to cope with me being for long periods. However, until we're in that position, I can only guess for now
 

UncleAlbert

War Hero
You need to find your soulmate….. when you do, marry her…meantime.

If it fly`s ..floats..or fcuks……...rent it.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Good luck, NS: It takes a special kind of woman to fall in love with a matelot... :roll:


...or, a bunch of average ones! 8O :lol:
 
D

Deleted 7

Guest
If we all had hindessight, it would be fab!

However, she speaks the truth, once you are through with Raleigh, you will seem different to her and vice versa. She has a year left at uni and her final year will see her not doing much apart from tonnes of course work and hardly a social life. Also, withyou going via training and such, it could cause a strain on the relationship. But, if you 2 are meant to be together, you will be (soppy me), if not, live and learn! There are plenty of lasses out there to be had!

What ever happens, happens! But UA summed it to a T................ :afro:
 

NorthernSub

Badgeman
This may sound really bad to some people but I already know now in my heart that if I had to choose between my gf or the Navy, the Navy would win hands down everytime.

I do love her very much but I have to put myself, my career and what I want first. If that means losing my gf then thats how its got to be. As many people have said, there are no doubt females out there who wouldn't mind going out with a Submariner. If it turns out that my gf doesn't want to be one of them, I would like to think that I would find someone who does.

I know I may sound really cruel and selfish for thinking about myself but Number One has got to come first. I'm not gonna give up the biggest opportunity of my life for anybody
 

Saxon

Badgeman
Your not being selfish mate, your being sensible. As others have said if you walked away from your dream for this lass then the resentment would end the relationship before long.

Also, you seem so enthusiastic about your career, it would be a shame to have your buildup ruined through worrying about all this. Keep your chin up matey and enjoy yourself. You know it makes sense :thumright:

Saxon
 

sweet_feet

Badgeman
I will apologise in advance, i've got the flu already and have taken enough Beechams to fill a small country, so i may babble on but here goes!

I understand where you are comming from although my situation is slightly different..i'm 21 and my B/F (24) is a marine, although i knew when we got together that he would be away a lot etc it doesnt make it any less difficult when the time comes.

However although there has been times when I have felt that i couldnt deal with the long-distance, no contact for ages (general long deployment [email protected]) I sat myself down and took a logical approach to what i was feeling and i wrote down my concerns about everything and had a really good think about the pro's and con's of the relationship, and after talking to him about (some ) of these thing we aired our concerns recognised our differences of opinions and worked through it.

We are still very much together and yes its been hard and i'm sure the next few months are gonna be very hard for us both as he has just gone to Ganners. But I love him to bits and he loves me, and although the saying goodbye is hard, my god the saying hello again is awesome! :)

He loves the corps , his mates and his job and is so proud of what he has done and what he is doing. and i see that as a fantastic show of strength and loyalty. I'm sure that you will feel the same when you join the Navy, given time i believe that she will understand and maybe love you just that little bit more for it! there is nothing sexier than a man who knows what he wants, is determined ,focused and goes out to achieve his goals! (i'm not denying that the uniform does not help in the equation either! )

The most important thing is that you do what you need to do to make you happy, a lifetime of regret and 'what if's' arent worth it. If there isnt a future for you both then that is sadly just the way life goes, but your still young, and as someone has already said that if you are meant to be together you will be, if not you are just about to open your life to a world of different people and opportunities!

as the B/F would say : fill your boots!
 

SubmarinersOH

Midshipman
Unless your GF is very independent, strong willed, trusts you, loves you unconditionally and is willing to support you 100%, it won't work.

For what it's worth, I am a submariner's girlfriend and no, it isn't easy when you lot are away but there are upsides, lots of them! :biggrin:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
SubmarinersOH said:
Unless your GF is very independent, strong willed, trusts you, loves you unconditionally and is willing to support you 100%, it won't work.

For what it's worth, I am a submariner's girlfriend and no, it isn't easy when you lot are away but there are upsides, lots of them! :biggrin:

Yeah, we know what they are... any Army bases nearby?! :twisted: :lol:
 
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