An Englishman, a Jew and a Scotsman go for a meal in a swish London restaurant.
After 3 expensive courses they call for the bill and the Scotsman says "I'll settle this."
Headline in next morning's newspaper, "Jewish ventriloquist found stabbed in alley!"
Mouth like a frog's sock.
I am not saying that he was an ugly baby, but his mum used to feed him with a catapult.
Gen dit from the Hermes beer queue 68/69 commish:
-Waffoo :I've got paint on my ankle, there should be a sign"
-young AB"There is one there look and it says "wet paint on dadoes""
-Waffoo: how am I supposed to know what that means?"
- Collective replies from the queue"Get some f*****g sea time in"
Referring to a new piss-poor caterer "He couldn't victual a blackbird in Epping Forrest".