One for the liberals...

Shakey

War Hero
One of those state the obvious wind up the liberals emails that are doing the rounds.....


If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:
Enter Pakistan, Afghanistan , Saudi, Nigeria, etc illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.
Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, "It is a cultural thing; you wouldn't understand."
Keep your British identity strong. Fly the your national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window, or on your car bumper.
Speak only English at home and in public, and insist that your children do likewise.
Demand classes on English culture in the Muslim school system.
Demand a local country driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws.
Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its officers.
Organise protest marches against your host country, inciting violence against non-Brits, non-Christians, and the government that let you in.
Good luck! You'll soon be dead. Because it will never happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq or any other country in the world except right here in the UK
For we are run by soft, politically correct politicians, that are too cared to "offend" anyone.
If you agree, pass it on. If you don't, go ahead and try the above in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
 
BZ Shakey! You're quite right, of course, though actually health care is free in Saudi Arabia... or at least it used to be, as it is in many other rich Islamic nations - and much more egalitarian than what we provide over here!
 

hammockhead

Lantern Swinger
How about this version :) ...

If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:
Enter Pakistan, Afghanistan , Saudi, Nigeria, etc by military force. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, establish rule and demand that the locals pay taxes to support your colonial administration.
Impose English law and customs and make the judges wear wigs and gowns despite the heat. Carry out all government and administrative work in English. Issue local government forms, bulletins, etc. solely in English. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible behaviour with, "We're on a civilising mission, you wouldn't understand"
Keep your British identity strong. Fly the your national flag from your army bases, or proudly fly it from your gubernatorial limousine.
Speak only English at home and in public, and insist that the natives do likewise.
Institute classes on English culture in the Muslim school system.
Get the League of Nations to give you a mandate to run the country. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
Drive around with a motorcade and ignore red lights and local traffic laws. Imprison any locals who protest.
Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its officers.
 

ThePunisher

Lantern Swinger
Hammock - most of our ex-colonies have gone downhill at warp speed since we left - The Septics being an hounerable exception.
You only have to ook at Africa; every country there is A)starving to death. B)In a state of permenant civil war. C)Under military dictatorship. D)All three.
Inspite of what all the Guardian readers believe, it is obvious that the world would be a much better place if the Empire was back in control.
Off course, it'll never happen We'ed need a real leader - Cromwell, Churchill - to sort out the mess in our own country first. And even then, we could'nt afford to save the world from itself. It just costs too much.
Tragic.
 

andym

War Hero
A)starving to death. B)In a state of permenant civil war. C)Under military dictatorship. D)All three


Ermm is Australia and Canda exempt?LOL
 

hammockhead

Lantern Swinger
ThePunisher said:
Hammock - most of our ex-colonies have gone downhill at warp speed since we left - The Septics being an hounerable exception.
You only have to ook at Africa; every country there is A)starving to death. B)In a state of permenant civil war. C)Under military dictatorship. D)All three.
Inspite of what all the Guardian readers believe, it is obvious that the world would be a much better place if the Empire was back in control.
Off course, it'll never happen We'ed need a real leader - Cromwell, Churchill - to sort out the mess in our own country first. And even then, we could'nt afford to save the world from itself. It just costs too much.
Tragic.

I am proud of what our empire-builders achieved. But my point is that they were not Little Englanders, they spoke Hindustani, Kiswahili and Malay and they knew that Britain's interests were worldwide.
 

all_purple_now

Lantern Swinger
ThePunisher said:
Hammock - most of our ex-colonies have gone downhill at warp speed since we left - The Septics being an hounerable exception.

Sorry?

A country with a level of rural poverty unacceptable anywhere else in the developed world?

APN
 
ThePunisher said:
Hammock - most of our ex-colonies have gone downhill at warp speed since we left - The Septics being an hounerable exception.
You only have to ook at Africa; every country there is A)starving to death. B)In a state of permenant civil war. C)Under military dictatorship. D)All three.
Inspite of what all the Guardian readers believe, it is obvious that the world would be a much better place if the Empire was back in control.
Off course, it'll never happen We'ed need a real leader - Cromwell, Churchill - to sort out the mess in our own country first. And even then, we could'nt afford to save the world from itself. It just costs too much.
Tragic.

In reality Chuchill was a Liberal, particularly when it came to social justice. He was one of those who helped formulate the first version of the welfare state with the original National Insurance scheme. He actually supported the miners in 1926 until the National Strike was called. You might well find that a time travlelling Churchill would not actually do what you want. Cromwell of course was a religious bigot so you may not find his ule quite so comfortable either.

Peter
 

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