On the subject of dirty Nurses


Lantern Swinger
"In all my time working within the health field I have never seen such poor standards of hygiene in a state hospital. Reports of dirty toilets is just the tip of the iceberg. One Rockingham resident, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals, told me that she saw a rat in a kitchen area designated for patient use. Moreover she said that when she reported this to the ward manager he seemed totally unconcerned stating that, and I quote, 'Oh that will be Roland'…..I couldn't believe it. They'd only gone and named the fucking thing!"

However it is a written statement from retired Orthopedic surgeon, Mr. David Young, that will possibly cause most embarrassment to the beleaguered heath trust.

In an article to be published in the British Journal of Medicine next month Young states,

"In all my time working for the NHS I have never come across conditions such as those that existed at Rockingham Hospitals. I could spend literally hours cataloguing events that took place during my employment there. On one occasion I actually had to suspend hip surgery for 30 minutes whilst the porters ushered out a stray dog from the operating theatre. When you have seen a Chihuahua and Jack Russell cross jump onto the chest of an anaesthetized patient and bite a fellow surgeon on the arm you know it is time to speak out."

The chairman of Rockingham NHS Health Trust, Sir Alan Maynard, was unavailable for comment. It was left to his secretary Miss Alice Maynard to release this press statement.

"Sir Alan is aware that hygiene standards are a cause for concern. However he would like to dispute a recent newspaper article claiming that 'nursing staff and ambulant patients were choosing to take their chances behind bushes and trees rather than risk the hospital toilets.' He does acknowledge however that the health authority may well need to tighten up it's cleaning contracts."

It has yet to be confirmed whether or not Sir Alan chose the 'outdoor option' himself during a board meeting on December 19th 2007.

Please yerself's :money:
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