Old naval joke revisited.

Discussion in 'Nautical Jokes' started by taffscrivs, Sep 17, 2013.

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  1. All you old salts will probably have heard this one but it's really for the benefit of the younger troops. A 17 year old virgin falls for a hairy arsed old matelot and decides to marry him. Her mother is aghast and warns her "Be very carefull my dear, I hope you have a happy marriage, but remember, if he asks you to 'do it the other way' you must refuse". The girl and the matelot get married and all goes well for the first 12 months. One day she recalls her mother's words and being curious says to Jolly Jack, "Shall we do it the other way?" "What" says Jack, "And fill the house with bloody kids"!
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  2. Does this mean he entered through the back so often that she now deemed the front door an improper and 'wrong' way to enter?

    What's long, hard and full of seamen?

    A submarine.
  3. NAMET Midnight :) 23:59

    Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
  4. I have noooo idea what that means!
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  5. Incoming :)

    Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
  6. I hope so, i like getting abuse and/or being enlightened about what these navy phrases are all about. I could ask my dad but in case its rude i better not :p
  7. NAval Maths & English Test score. The best you could get was 0:0, 23:59 would not be a good score! :)

    Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
  8. I see, so it is a code way to say that i am a dumb arse? :D or is the joke that she does him up the rear. I am rubbish at getting jokes, or at understanding things in general life.
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2013
  10. An astute observation and imaginatively delivered! :D
  11. Just a minor point but your quote quotes something you never posted. The quote origin also shows no edits. I'm with Rachelthree on this one.
  12. Because I was using that app thingy, glad they got rid of NAMET and brought in LANTERN!!!
  13. Ahem. LANTERN has gone now too. It's now changed to Education for Promotion. Think it was one of those name changes that didn't change much else though so all is good.

    Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
  14. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    I hope you aren't telling me that my ET1 is now defunct
  15. To be fair to Rachelthree I just told that joke to an american, who also had no idea what was going on, but he was from Louisiana...
  16. fails_as_is

    fails_as_is Badgeman Book Reviewer

    There was also the option for NAMET like a mainframe sonar. (shame we've changed it - twice, I liked that one!)
  17. An old Chief Stoker was sitting on a train across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.

    Despite his efforts, he was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs to his delight, he realized she was going commando (no underwear).

    She saw him staring and inquired, "Are you looking at my vagina?"

    “Yes, I’m sorry," he replied.

    "It’s quite all right," she replied, "It’s very talented, watch this, I’ll make it blow a kiss to you, and with a little twitch of her hips, sure enough, the vagina blew him a kiss."

    The old Chief was completely astounded and inquired what else it could do.

    "I can also make it wink," she replied.

    The old man stared in amazement as the vagina winked at him.

    "Come and sit next to me," she said, patting the seat.

    He moved over and she asked, “Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

    Stunned, he asked, “You’re kiddin' me, you mean it can whistle, too?"

    It's tough getting old....
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  18. holy20thread20resurrection.jpg
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  19. 'Astute observation' Is that looking at a Submarine thats run aground?....;)

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