Oi Tiffs

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by Guzzler, Jul 22, 2010.

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  1. Explain the Higgs Boson to me.

    In simple but detailed terms.

  2. No Comprendez but there again I was Mech in old money
  3. That's why I didn't ask you, old former work-mate :)

    The Big Bang thing - you must know about it as I know you spend all day reading the papers and web-spazzing.
  4. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Quite simple - it is something no-one has ever seen, no-one knows if it definitely exists, but scientists are making lots of money by saying 'We think it is there and want to prove it'.
  5. God then?

    Now there's one for the philosophers.

    Good one A_G.
  6. Yes I can explain that in simple but detailed terms, L/S Higgs was our bubbly boson on the Nubian.
  7. That's called research :twisted:

    That Higgs thingyme. You send one particle around a big waste of money pipe at max chat, send another one the other way round at max chat until they smash into each other then spend a fortune making up theories as to what you think happened.

    Knobs that like to bamboozle you with science so they keep their funding describe it as this

    The Higgs boson is a hypothetical massive scalar elementary particle predicted to exist by the Standard Model in particle physics. At present there are no known elementary scalar (spin-0) particles in nature, although many composite spin-0 particles are known. The existence of the particle is postulated as a means of resolving inconsistencies in current theoretical physics, and attempts are being made to confirm the existence of the particle by experimentation, using the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). Other theories exist that do not anticipate the Higgs boson, described elsewhere as the Higgsless model.

    I prefer my explanation but will they pay me for [email protected]
  8. A_G has summed this up beautifully for me (though probably not intentionally).

    Theology/philosophy sparring at the same weight as 'scientists' :)

  9. Simply put, it's a theoretical particle that would explain why atoms (which have no real mass) actually have mass.
    As the Higgs boson passes through the Higgs field, the interaction gives the atom mass. Confused? Imagine how I feel living with someone doing a physics degree........some of the stuff I get told makes my head hurt for days...
  10. It's a bit of a mystery, just like the 'Golden Rivet'
  11. Well, I ended up a Tiff (spit), but was really a Mech. So, I cannot explain the theory, but, if they ever did collide, I'd probably have been able to fix them, using Araldite and HBM.

    Well, it kept S boats X and Y going for years!! :D
  12. That's simply put? 8O

    As a techno-simpleton I love all this stuff. Always watch the Horizon mental programmes just so that I can sit and develop a headache. Woke up on the settee in the early hours a while ago with a bastard of a hangover and watched something about quantum physics. Didn't understand a word but loved it.

    I still want a fight over the God (or god if you wish) v science though. A-G has prompted me, so it's his fault :) .

    Don't forget you evil heathens that if I'm wrong I'm just wrong.

    If you're wrong you will burn in Hell.

    For ages.

    Neh neh . :p

  13. Fuckin hell Guzz why don't you edge your bets.
    My problem with this atom colliding spondooffer is if they are trying to emulate the "big bang", what the fuck happens to me if it works.
    Bastards, first time in my life I've got money and time to spend it at the same time and some Swiss cunt is trying to reshape the friggin world.
  14. Well put RR, and I agree - if they do err...'discover' it we'll be blown to fuck surely?

    I just love this science/theology thing and part of the studies I'm now doing involves a bit of philosophy which makes me bore folk big style.

    But I like it.

    Four options:

    There isn't a God and you don't believe - well done, but no benefit for you.

    There isn't a God and you do believe - no loss, just look a bit of a twat. Not a new concept for me.

    There is a God and you do believe - sorted.

    There is a God and you don't believe - oh dear. Familiar with the work of Hieronymus Bosch?
  15. Hmmm, the age old God thing eh? I was recently confronted by one of the God squad wanting to talk to me about the Sky pixie. I politely explained I am atheist. He said "So you don't believe that god created the earth". I replied "No, and if you do believe, please explain the following to me. God created ALL life, in fact the Bible mentions various beasts, snakes, birds etc, but there is NO mention of dinosaurs. If God created ALL life, why miss out something like the dinosaurs?".
    His reply........."Well, well all know that the scientific community have faked the fossil records to discredit God".........I nearly p1ssed myself laughing as I walked away.
  16. Oh yes :twisted:

    By the way, if you'd simply asked me this last night in the pub I could've explained Higgs Boson using a couple of beermats, a cocktail stick and a barmaids bottom

  17. Hmm I gather that the barmaids bottom would have been used to demonstrate the effect of gravity on a large object?
  18. :D

    I never thought of that. I was just thinking it was something nicer to look at than Guzzler's slack-jawed expression while trying to explain particle physics to him. :lol:

    Standing by for incoming...
  19. Oh that's so cruel, I shouldn't laugh......but........ :rofl:
  20. I understand that during the experiment, there is a very small chance that the
    Large Hadron Collider may create a Black Hole.

    Hence the Barmaids bottom.


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