Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Apr 24, 2014.

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  1. BBC News - Cornish people granted minority status within UK

    Congratulations Cornwall! To celebrate this momentous occasion it gives me great pleasure to present
    them with a gift. Please find enclosed below a DNA Database of the entire population of the whole of Cornwall.


    (Shouldn't need any more than the one)
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2014
  2. Now there's a minority that I wouldn't mind persecuting.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Ooooh dear, you're treading a very dangerous path now Billy. Yesterday it would have been fine but today the Cornish are a official minority group and are protected by the laws that govern those things. The Anti Racist groups will be unfurling their banners outside your shed shortly(if not sooner). You may have to bribe them with Doombar to go away.
  4. [​IMG]
    • Like Like x 5
  5. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    With all the time you've spent in the SW, I'd have thought you'd have "persecuted" them enough already. Or the womenfolk, at least... :twisted:

  6. What a funny colour for sperm. Oh well, perhaps that is the 'minority' aspect . . .
  7. Wrong gender, he's from Cumbria so two steps down the evolutionary ladder from the Cornish ;)
    • Like Like x 2
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    While the people of Ukraine are out in the streets, shouting: "Revolution! Revolution! We want independence!" there are lots of confused creatures in Kernow and the Lake District pointing at the Sun, mumbling: "Evolution! Evolution! We want opposable thumbs!" :twisted:
    • Like Like x 1
  9. So does the pasty yafflers get their own team in the Commonwealth Games now ???
  10. My hatred for Cornhole and it's ****ing mouth breathing inhabitants is well documented.

    A shitter bunch of cunts there is yet to be discovered on this island. I include those toothless wankers from Norfolk in that, which speaks volumes.
  11. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Luvs you too Monty :)

  12. Hold that thought in mind next Trafalgar Night.

    Anyway, back to Kernow's finest. What's that song? A pork sword and a shakey hand? badteeth.gif
    • Like Like x 1
  13. [​IMG]

    "My fellow Cornish folk! This is a great day, a great day indeed. Henceforth - from this day forward, the English monetary system is abolished and shall be replaced with a bartering system using the skins of dead badgers, which can be used to purchase all things deemed essential in supporting human (Cornish) life i.e. fudge, pasties and clotted cream. I have negotiated an ongoing contract with N.A.T.O. which permits allied air forces to use ANY Cornwall based caravan sites to be used for practice/live bombing runs. I am still in talks with the military with a view to allow them to use Cornish Theme Parks, Cornish Market World and Trago Mills (Liskeard) as areas to test weapons of mass destruction. All "non-Cornish" residents are to be rounded up and moved to Redruth with immediate effect, where I have arranged for the towns tattoo parlours to mark such "Non-Kernows" with the words "GROCKLE CUNT" in the centre of their foreheads. They shall then be force marched to Lands End and thrown off the cliffs.
    Children under the age of six SHALL be taught the language of Cornwall, which is to be North Korean. This shall be the only language used by the year 2020 and from the start of that new decade - everyone will eat fish. Nothing else. Just fish"

  14. Shows he's not proper Kernow.

    Tourists are emmetts, not grockles and Trago Mills at Falmouth is far worse than the Liskeard one.
  15. That shit-house is next door to one of his fish'n'chip shops and therefore is now considered as sacred territory.
  16. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    He must be due back in the UK from Australia anytime now for that fcuking freaky obby oss thing next week!

  17. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    The Cornish Liberation & Cider Army have released an image of their new proposed Cabinet:


    Included are their candidates for Home and Foreign Secretary:


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