Suddenly an announcement came over tha tannoy from none other than Admiral Nozzer himself (ahem!). He had just spent two blissful hours in the Brownies mess and he's also received a letter from his wife, who'd survived the blast with 15,000 other high falutin' persons in the civil service secret bunker beneath Nelson's Column. Politicos were NOT invited & in any event didn't know about it. All that slagging off of Crown Employees had finally been at a price! Now the civil service really DID rule the country, what was left of it, and they had appointed Lord Boyce as PM.
"Hurrah!" shouted all the sailors and sailorettes!
"Now the, er, bad news crew," said Nozzer. He wasn't sure how to say this, but out it must come as he would not be in the Andrew much longer and his brain although increasing in mass was decreasing in everything else! He'd booked an everlasting cruise into oblivion and would be setting off on his journey soon, once Randy Andy has arranged the transfer to the new Haslar Hospital for Sick Sailors (HHoSS) in a few weeks time. So out it had to come.
"Shipmates I have an announcement to make." 'Oooooh' came the response from the Brownies and Junior Jenny. The Chefs went 'Fcuk, another long boring speech' and Dunkers thought: time to make up my loss of sleep...
"It's like this," said Nozzer, "I've never told you my real name and have been using Seacat's computer and emal name to send all my messages to RR..." "He's a fcuking fraud!" shouted BY, shocked. "It's worse than that" said Nozzer. What could be worse, thought the crew??? "I was at Ganges, but I had a sex change op after leaving the Andrew and having been living as a Jenny for the past 8 years!" There was a hushed silence and a sharp intake of breath. For once the entire crew were completely gobsmacked. "So that's why you never joined the Ganges Association... and only joined the RNA as an associate member" said Nutty, deeply shocked. The brownies screamed in horror. A wo-man in their midst!!! He was expelled from their messdeck and chased all the way to the torpedo room where he was rammed into a torpedo tube and fired, unceremoniously into the oggin.
And that, as they say, was the end of NozzyNozzer, or should I now say, Miss Nozzy Nozzer! Farewell my friends, it's been nice knowing you all. Please DO NOT blame Seacat! I made him swear secrecy.
And his sig says "Adieu... I will not darken the messdeck again".
So what does this mean?
Is NozzyNozzer in fact Seacat?
Or has he just been using Seacat's computer? (Which there would be nothing wrong with of course)
Why would NozzyNozzer want to suddenly disappear? If he is in fact Seacat (who has a great interest in Ganges) then was he just pretending to have been an ex-Ganges boy? Surely not, he sounds far too convincing to be having us on.
Hi Guys, basically I'm a fraud, or is a freud and it's time for me to depart and darken your doors no longer. However genetically I AM intersex and if I took my shirt off I would basically resemble a Jenny because I do have breasts! The genetic abnormality I have is called Klinefelter syndrome.
I owe you all an explanation and my deepest apologies for being such a fcuking barsteward and letting you all down so badly.
I joined the Royal Observer Corps when I was 16 and later got involved with and joined the RNXS, which frankly I loved. It was during this time, and no earlier, that I began to realise that I was gay. Electric shock treatment did not alter how I felt towards men. Taking a solution of Zinc/Aluminium salts to induce vomiting when I showed myself pictures of men, similarly did not work, so I was stuck (this may be the reason, incidentally, why my memory is such a problem now). When the RNXS was disbanded I was offered a level transfer to the RNR which I really would loved to have taken up, but obviously could not take the risk of being found out and kicked out. I told my Area CO, former Skipper of HMS Scylla in 1963 when his son was Christened in the ships bell, the same year I was born. I cannot remember his name unfortunately, but he was based at Gravesend. I told him that I couldn't move because I was in a reserved occupation. Unfortunately he checked up and told me that this would not be a problem. I found some other feeble excuse. I was too scared to tell him my real reason as I didn't want to be kicked out of the RNXS before it was disbanded.
Dunkers is very perceptive - he will go far! I am indeed Seacat. I am gay and I am mad on Ganges. I am been obsessed (in the pathological sense) since I was 15 so I know a great deal about her, but I could NEVER get my head round the thorny issue why so many people, whilst having such obviously terrible memories of the place, nevertheless seemed to have such a positive attitude about the place. I have felt for a long time that the RN ought to brought to account for what took place at Ganges. Since joining RR my attitude towards Ganges has COMPLETELY CHANGED. I now see how very wrong I was & in fact what good Ganges did - something I never expected to say! I should tell you that my respect for TROGS is the same as most people have for top footballers, one of enormous admiration. I know that I should certainly not have been able to cope with the harsh regime without crying myself to sleep every night. I also know that I would probably (had I dared) attempted to run away.
The reason I posed as a TROG was that there were lots of issues I needed to explore which I simply was too cowardly to deal with being myself.
For those who have read my recent inputs as Seacat on the HMS Ganges Association's website, I would like to see this idea carried forward, though clearly now I cannot be in any way associated with it, now my name is tarnished forever.
I should also be very grateful if someone here would forward this message to the Bad-CO so that he can see WHY I am so utterly unsuitable to become a Moderator!
If you ever meet me I know I deserve a good kicking - I've had quite a few of those just for being gay, and I promise I wouldn't grass you up as I'm sure you realise - if you're gay it's not a realistic option - and anyway in this case I would have earned it for once for something I have done rather than for something I am.
I have loved my time on RR and, dare I say it, grown very fond of all of you. I should certainly risk my life for any one of you if the situation arose as you are all really great people. I wish you lot were running this country! I am especially sorry Nutty for letting you down. I could have done with a dad like you!
Anyway, it is time for me to scuttle off into proverbial Hades and for you to get your heads down and welcome a Seacat and Nozzer-free Rum Ration from tomorrow morning onwards. I shall pop in ananymously at times, just to enjoy the jokes and humour. I will also read this column to get a taste of your full fury/disappointment with me - which should also serve as a warning to others of my ilk! I should prefer honesty (read - be as damning as you want) but I should know by now, that I'll get that anyway. Goodbye! :cry:
I did suspect a trifle dodgy posts especially the early ones where you began to ask too many question explanations regarding boys in the RN.
If you had been through a year of training yourself its not the sort of stuff you forget-even with your supposed memory problems.
Apart from that thanks for the entertainment!! As for your ID well you couldve been the original one eyed one legged green goblin -who gives a shite .
Why bother to tell us your supposed real origins ,most of us have seen worse anyway!!
Who are you going to be next ?????????????????????
For fcuks sake Nozzy, talk about spinning a dit !!!
So is there really a Mrs Nozzer? Have you really got Tits?
Come on mate, you didn't expect a cyber hug from Lingyai did you?
Don't go though, you are part of this :cry:
Have to say that at times I did wonder. But really kidder, it doesn't matter here. Indeed you have earned some modicum of respect(certainly from me anyway) for your honesty.
Please do not feel that you now have to go because you can be sure that you don't. We have all probably seen and heard far worse than this in our time. Nothing shocks us. You seem like a great person (nearly said guy/gal/whatever) and have entertained us all. Please don't go....not now...stay awhile and develop the theme....it could be fun for us all !
I would suspect that you are not the only one on the forum that has not been forthcoming about their background, does it matter, for my part I would welcome your continued input.
As has already been said, theres not much that Jack hasn't seen or done
Why are you all slapping him on the back?
He came on here only to feed his obsession with smally boys always trying to steer the conversation round to Ganges,
What lies! All this about how he went on the trot then had cuts, when in truth he was never in the mob. Why didnâ€™t the moderators smoke him out, alright you wouldnâ€™t expect the Dabber to but thereâ€™s a lot of old and wise mods on here that should have asked a few questions before this forum gets put on the Google sex offenders list .
Mostly when someone goes out in a blaze of glory they resurface after a couple of weeks with a new identity, thankfully Nozzer canâ€™t do that as his continued reference to young boys would soon give him away.
Now I don`t have a problem with gays at all but nozzer and his mates are the reason you can`t take photographs of your grandchildren on sports day or at he swimming baths, and you would never give a lift to any kids , even if you have known them for years.
And before you all start flaming me remember that as a civilian he only came onto this forum so he could feed his fetish ie, boys being mistreated, so we have nothing to thank him for, except perhaps for giving me the opportunity to tell a pedophile to his face to Fcuk off.
UA, don't be knocking certain MODs aka moi. How are we supposed to smoke some one out without knowing anything? I, like others, would not have access to member's personal service records and using them would be against the law, yes, Nozzer has done badly but at least he has come clean. Think I can say with confidence that other members may not do or have the guts to do so.
And you say I wouldn't do anything, please explain your accusations, I'm all ears to hear why, stating claims without evidence is not advisable :wink:
Dear Dear Jenny, so arrogant and only 25.
Now before you start P.M.ing me with abuse, let me just say no one would expect you to recognize Nozzer as a walt as you were never at Ganges, I don`t have a problem with that, also as I have said I don`t have a problem with gays or (you will be glad to hear) lesbians. But as a moderator your plea for him to stay is irresponsible to say the least and I`ll tell you why.
He has admitted he has an interest in 15 year old boys, now that might not bother you but Bill Gates donâ€™t like it one little bit.
I am merely suggesting itâ€™s not a good idea for a forum to have a resident pedophile. Yes.