War Hero
On the "?" thread NozzyNozzer wrote:

Suddenly an announcement came over tha tannoy from none other than Admiral Nozzer himself (ahem!). He had just spent two blissful hours in the Brownies mess and he's also received a letter from his wife, who'd survived the blast with 15,000 other high falutin' persons in the civil service secret bunker beneath Nelson's Column. Politicos were NOT invited & in any event didn't know about it. All that slagging off of Crown Employees had finally been at a price! Now the civil service really DID rule the country, what was left of it, and they had appointed Lord Boyce as PM.

"Hurrah!" shouted all the sailors and sailorettes!

"Now the, er, bad news crew," said Nozzer. He wasn't sure how to say this, but out it must come as he would not be in the Andrew much longer and his brain although increasing in mass was decreasing in everything else! He'd booked an everlasting cruise into oblivion and would be setting off on his journey soon, once Randy Andy has arranged the transfer to the new Haslar Hospital for Sick Sailors (HHoSS) in a few weeks time. So out it had to come.

"Shipmates I have an announcement to make." 'Oooooh' came the response from the Brownies and Junior Jenny. The Chefs went 'Fcuk, another long boring speech' and Dunkers thought: time to make up my loss of sleep...

"It's like this," said Nozzer, "I've never told you my real name and have been using Seacat's computer and emal name to send all my messages to RR..." "He's a fcuking fraud!" shouted BY, shocked. "It's worse than that" said Nozzer. What could be worse, thought the crew??? "I was at Ganges, but I had a sex change op after leaving the Andrew and having been living as a Jenny for the past 8 years!" There was a hushed silence and a sharp intake of breath. For once the entire crew were completely gobsmacked. "So that's why you never joined the Ganges Association... and only joined the RNA as an associate member" said Nutty, deeply shocked. The brownies screamed in horror. A wo-man in their midst!!! He was expelled from their messdeck and chased all the way to the torpedo room where he was rammed into a torpedo tube and fired, unceremoniously into the oggin.

And that, as they say, was the end of NozzyNozzer, or should I now say, Miss Nozzy Nozzer! Farewell my friends, it's been nice knowing you all. Please DO NOT blame Seacat! I made him swear secrecy.

There was silence then....................

And his sig says "Adieu... I will not darken the messdeck again".

So what does this mean?

Is NozzyNozzer in fact Seacat?
Or has he just been using Seacat's computer? (Which there would be nothing wrong with of course)
Why would NozzyNozzer want to suddenly disappear? If he is in fact Seacat (who has a great interest in Ganges) then was he just pretending to have been an ex-Ganges boy? Surely not, he sounds far too convincing to be having us on.

It's a very confusing mystery :?


War Hero
Maybe hes had a sexchange?Then found out it was all a waste of time in the 1st place?Or the best bite of the year so far???
Hi Guys, basically I'm a fraud, or is a freud and it's time for me to depart and darken your doors no longer. However genetically I AM intersex and if I took my shirt off I would basically resemble a Jenny because I do have breasts! The genetic abnormality I have is called Klinefelter syndrome.

I owe you all an explanation and my deepest apologies for being such a fcuking barsteward and letting you all down so badly.

I joined the Royal Observer Corps when I was 16 and later got involved with and joined the RNXS, which frankly I loved. It was during this time, and no earlier, that I began to realise that I was gay. Electric shock treatment did not alter how I felt towards men. Taking a solution of Zinc/Aluminium salts to induce vomiting when I showed myself pictures of men, similarly did not work, so I was stuck (this may be the reason, incidentally, why my memory is such a problem now). When the RNXS was disbanded I was offered a level transfer to the RNR which I really would loved to have taken up, but obviously could not take the risk of being found out and kicked out. I told my Area CO, former Skipper of HMS Scylla in 1963 when his son was Christened in the ships bell, the same year I was born. I cannot remember his name unfortunately, but he was based at Gravesend. I told him that I couldn't move because I was in a reserved occupation. Unfortunately he checked up and told me that this would not be a problem. I found some other feeble excuse. I was too scared to tell him my real reason as I didn't want to be kicked out of the RNXS before it was disbanded.

Dunkers is very perceptive - he will go far! I am indeed Seacat. I am gay and I am mad on Ganges. I am been obsessed (in the pathological sense) since I was 15 so I know a great deal about her, but I could NEVER get my head round the thorny issue why so many people, whilst having such obviously terrible memories of the place, nevertheless seemed to have such a positive attitude about the place. I have felt for a long time that the RN ought to brought to account for what took place at Ganges. Since joining RR my attitude towards Ganges has COMPLETELY CHANGED. I now see how very wrong I was & in fact what good Ganges did - something I never expected to say! I should tell you that my respect for TROGS is the same as most people have for top footballers, one of enormous admiration. I know that I should certainly not have been able to cope with the harsh regime without crying myself to sleep every night. I also know that I would probably (had I dared) attempted to run away.

The reason I posed as a TROG was that there were lots of issues I needed to explore which I simply was too cowardly to deal with being myself.

For those who have read my recent inputs as Seacat on the HMS Ganges Association's website, I would like to see this idea carried forward, though clearly now I cannot be in any way associated with it, now my name is tarnished forever.

I should also be very grateful if someone here would forward this message to the Bad-CO so that he can see WHY I am so utterly unsuitable to become a Moderator!

If you ever meet me I know I deserve a good kicking - I've had quite a few of those just for being gay, and I promise I wouldn't grass you up as I'm sure you realise - if you're gay it's not a realistic option - and anyway in this case I would have earned it for once for something I have done rather than for something I am.

I have loved my time on RR and, dare I say it, grown very fond of all of you. I should certainly risk my life for any one of you if the situation arose as you are all really great people. I wish you lot were running this country! I am especially sorry Nutty for letting you down. I could have done with a dad like you!

Anyway, it is time for me to scuttle off into proverbial Hades and for you to get your heads down and welcome a Seacat and Nozzer-free Rum Ration from tomorrow morning onwards. I shall pop in ananymously at times, just to enjoy the jokes and humour. I will also read this column to get a taste of your full fury/disappointment with me - which should also serve as a warning to others of my ilk! I should prefer honesty (read - be as damning as you want) but I should know by now, that I'll get that anyway. Goodbye! :cry:


War Hero
Awwwww no Nozzy don't go!

I find you quite entertaining actually! :lol:

But well done on feeling able to own up to it; you should really consider acting as a career by the way. I honestly mean that in a nice way too.
Bon Voyage Nozzy

I did suspect a trifle dodgy posts especially the early ones where you began to ask too many question explanations regarding boys in the RN.
If you had been through a year of training yourself its not the sort of stuff you forget-even with your supposed memory problems.

Apart from that thanks for the entertainment!! As for your ID well you couldve been the original one eyed one legged green goblin -who gives a shite .
Why bother to tell us your supposed real origins ,most of us have seen worse anyway!!

Who are you going to be next ?????????????????????
For fcuks sake Nozzy, talk about spinning a dit !!!
So is there really a Mrs Nozzer? Have you really got Tits?
Come on mate, you didn't expect a cyber hug from Lingyai did you?
Don't go though, you are part of this :cry:

Deleted 7

Nozzer, who gives a flying f**k of your choices in life, we have all taken a path we wished had been different, one way or another.

[marq=left]STAY HERE!![/marq]

OK, so you told a white lie or two but your posts are amusing and you ain't dull. Do I really need to start singing East 17's Stay, or will you change your mind and come back?