Nosh you off or kick her off?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Murph, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. I was asked this very peculiar but funny question at work today.
    Now to see what your response would be.

    Work colleague : " Hey Murph, if you were out on the town one night and a very what you thought was a fit bird with the body and looks of Megan fox approached you and asked if you wanted sucking off would you let her? "

    Me : " Does a bear shit in the woods?"

    Work colleague : "Ok, but heres the thing whilst shes noshing you off, you look down and see a dick poking out from her slag belt.......WHAT DO YOU DO?

    Me : " Let him/her/it finish then I finish with a back hand to his/her/it's face.

    Now what would you do ?
  2. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Are you seriously asking matelots this question? There is only one answer.
  3. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I cannot believe you are asking this question.

    You let the creature nosh you off, you massive gayer.
  4. Above all else,get your money back first!Straighten him out with a couple of backhanders then ask him to give the same offer to some of your mates! also ask if he has a real sister who can suck the batteries out of a rubber torch,job done.
  5. If this is an innuendo over certain occurrences in a public toilet in Cape town its not funny.
    I did not know it had a toggle and you can not prove otherwise.
    And what kind of a subject is this to raise on a family orientated forum like the RN.
    Dirty bastard.
  6. This is surely a question for the newbies section, BUFFS Murph.
  7. Didn't want to put this in the newbies section too many innocent minds to ruin. Thought some of you currently serving or ex serving might relate to this! ;p
  8. To be honest you should nearly let it finish you off. At the last minute, pull out and spaff on it's eyeballs. Whilest momenterily blinded, bend down and pinch it's purse.
  9. You fuckin twat, now I know, give me my purse back.
  10. Sod it, just carry on, every holes a goal and all that, some birds i've had bj's of are ruff as men anyway ;-)
  11. Yeah now tell us if some of the men were as sweet as women.;;-P
  12. :happycry: hahaha, ok, the sweetest was spanish the ugliest was nigerian and the best was the big south african bloke,mmmmm;-P
  13. Ahh, you sad sad sick muppets :pukel:
  14. 50p and two used condoms wasn't worth nicking in the first place. Mind you I did love what you did with your tongue.
  15. You can't beat a BJ from a yarpie.
  16. Do you actually realize how many blow jobs that 50p represented.
    You wouldn't be so cavalier if you'd had a hard day on your knees.
    And condoms don't grow on they?
    Are they from a rubber tree?
  17. Women are ok but you can't beat the real thing.
  18. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    My chief stoker many years ago, Yorkie C----, told me a dit once; he and his oppos were on a DTS down the strip in the 70's, end of the month all the lads skint, so they pool their money to try and get a few rounds in. Yorkie's contribution amounts to nothing more than a few pence, still, all oppos together and so on. After a couple of beers Yorkie goes for a piss, only for some bloke to offer him a tenner for the privilege of giving him a chew. Yorkie thinks about it, accepts, lets the bloke get on with it then goes back into the pub brandishing his tenner, only to get filled in by his oppos for holding back on them in the first place!
    Don't know how true it is, but made me chuckle at the time.
  19. Yes I've never shagged arse, and I will never do it again.
  20. If you were a true oppo, you would get two BJ's and go back on board and give your oppo one

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