Noisy Sex

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by TattooDog, Nov 9, 2009.

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  1. Couple in court for noisy shagging sessions:


    Now I'm no oil painting, but would you want to shag her? Or him? :pukeright:

    and not because she's fugging ugly?
  2. Done worse.
  3. 'kin ell, you'd need more than a pillow for that fcuking monstrosity. I haven't seen a bird as rough as that since I had to do the shakes in 3D mess on the massive.
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Jesus Fucking Christ. Speechless to be honest.
  5. I'm surprised the Council didn't move them to a detached property in the leafy suburbs and pay them compensation for the bother.
  6. any holes a goal, thats my motto.
  7. Crumbs! No amount of drink or drugs would make either of them even vaguely attractive! The noise thing must be a bluff to make people think that actually do have sex...

  8. Hoi! PP keep the noise down what will the neighbours think? With crumbs all over the bed too. :twisted: :wink: :D 8)
  9. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    And by the look of her, i would rather stick my todger down a snake hole.
  10. Missthedits you are of course totally correct, and should stand by your family motto of Fcukemallus Regulas.

    The blagging and lies of the posters in this thread as to the quality of there previous partners is outrageous.
    They either were in the Navy, or they were fussy finicky tossers.
    There is no such thing under Naval Regulations either in Q.R. DCI's or AFO's as a bad shag.
    Each of course has it's merits, scored on a scale of 1 to 100.
    Seldom do the members of HM. ships ever attain a score rated shag much above 70, I being the highest attainable.
    When they reach (if ever) a shag rated above 60 they start to consider marriage, and if exceed 40, they actually do it.
    Most matelots will however claim a 10+ but once they have sobered up for a year or two soon realise that is was a mistake and the 50/40 rated are much prettier especially at weekends and after 10/15 pints.
  11. Paid for worse alot worse................ mind you i'm an ugly git myself!!!!
  12. Back in the early 70s.. camped next to a deaf Canadian couple.. they were in a tent, she was a "screamer".. They didn't know it, but we did.. I would have told him 'ceptin they stole my campsite picnic table..

    (it was at Yogi Bear Park, on Boo Boo Blvd, next to Disney World.. all paved over with 15 story hotels now)

    And don't be so upity.. after four weeks at sea she would be a babe.. after six weeks, either would be a catch..
  13. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Definition of noisy sex? Roargasm... :twisted:

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