no more fun!

Shucks - giving cats pills is no fun any more. You used to have to swaddle them in towels, jam your fingers between their fangs, prise fangs open, tilt head back, drop pill down cat's throat (a 3rd hand useful at this point) close mouth to stop cat spitting it out, force mouth to stay shut and stroke throat to make cat swallow (a 4th hand even more useful) ...

these days all you have to do is pop the pill in a teaspoon of food (Recovery Food) that is so flippin' delicious the cat gobbles it up and wants to eat the spoon ...

now where's the fun in that I ask you?

:cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat:
Best way is to administer the pill externally …ramming it home with a blunt stick……

Oh, and don`t forget to wear heavy duty motor cycle gloves …crash helmet and goggles…..

Hope this helps..
I find that when the pussy posse need medication I simply have to visit my rather lovely Antipodian vet, who charges extortionate amounts to do this. But he is simply so scrummy I don't mind.
After getting said fangs embedded in said hand I learned to do it the safe way.

Take medication and divine in four.

Consult bank manager.

Take piece of fillet steak and cut up into easily eatable lumps.

Take scalpal and make a small, deep incision in four pieces of said steak.

Using forceps, place once pill segment into each piece of meat. Mix medicated and unmedicated meat together in cat bowl*, with strawberry juice flavoured single cream in the other dish.

Thank bank manager for loan.

*Cat bowl for special cats.... Yes I have one of these! :)

Maxi_77 said:
stirling said:
I would say cats are never owned.........
dogs have masters......cats have servants.
Quite, you don't choose a cat, the cat chooses you, and my dog ensures no cat would choose us.
Please can I have a loan of your dog for a week?
Perhaps he can stop the local cats using my garden for crapping in.


Lantern Swinger

Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.

With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.

Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.

Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.

Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).

Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.

Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.

Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill - wrap it in bacon.

Happy Pilling Pussy Lovers!



Lantern Swinger
golden_rivet said:
chinamatelot said:
rod-gearing said:
How to give a dog a pill - wrap it in bacon

What ,the dog?
Sure, why not? Give it a spit roast. Take two bootnecks, and some baby oil and off you go!
sorry mate you should ALWAYS use water based lube - even with a dog

Why, thank you! Information is always useful in situations like this one! Will KY do the job and the dog?

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