Nice one


Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Bill didn't show up. didn't think much about it and figured he had a cold or something. After Bill hadn't shown up a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold -- there sat Bill! was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. he said, "For crying out loud, Bill, what in the world happened to you?"
Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?"
"Yeah," Sam, "I remember her. about her?"
"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 Years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I plead 'guilty' and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."


Lantern Swinger
A woman rushes into the police station and up to the constable on the desk. She gasps " I've been graped"
Constable " Surely you mean raped"
Woman "No there was a bunch of them"