New year investments

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by w.anchor, Jan 4, 2009.

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  1. A hypothetical question,you are given £300,000 with the proviser that you have to make a 20% return on that sum within 24 months or hand it back.
    How would you invest that sum .
    you can't piss it up and say that's a fair cop guv :bball:
  2. Oil or money laundering.
  3. Buy some young and pliable (assisted by drugs, baseball bats etc) girls off my mates Ivan in Moscow and Tran in Bangkok and put 'em to work in a house of ill repute.
    100% return within a very short time if you work'em like dogs.
  4. Doe,s it have to be legal?

    If not drug dealing!

    I saw a lad from my school about a week ago who left school early and with no qualifications, now he's driving round in his £30,000 merc and living in his £150,000 house.

    All from drug dealing.
  5. In this economic climate that is going to be very hard. Your best bet would be to set up a business that tends to do very well in hard ecomonic times. Something like a pawn shop. That is, if you are fussy about sticking to the law. As other's have said, if illegal, the sky's the limit.

    If all else fails, give it to Bernard Madoff, he seems to be adept at convincing people that they have more money than they actually do.
  6. Good plan I'm off to have look on eBay for a baseball bat,would you go for a wooden bat or aluminum one :thumright:
  7. For a punt:

    £100K in a miner (Rio Tinto, Vale do Rio Doce, BHP Billiton) - miners have been massively oversold and will pick up again once manufacturing gets going again

    £100K in Pinewood Studios - with the Pound crashing, many films are coming into the UK from Eastern Europe

    £100K in uranium - with the building of UK and international power stations, uranium prices are very low at present

    All in the spirit of the game, of course.
  8. Aluminium every time, forensic evidence is so much easier to clean so I've been told. :thumright:
    The reverberating ping when the bat makes contact with something solid such as bone is so much more pleasing than the dull thunk of a wooden bat as well.
  9. Get yourself one of these babies...

    Its polypropylene so you cant break it even after a hard days pimping and general OG'ing. If you get some "forensics" on it a simple fire will destroy the whole thing nicely, those Maple ones take all day to burn....
  10. You seem to have it well sust "ZNBootneck"now all I need is the fcuking £300,000.I think what you are saying is the leisure industry is good in a recession. :thumright:
  11. They look very nice.But I must admit that I'm somewhat taken with the idea of a reverberating ping of aluminium on bone. :whew:
  12. Yeah, the poly ones are heavier and just make a murderously efficient thud, hard to know when to stop twatting with them. For that noise like scaffold being hit with a hammer, you need an ally bat. Best you know someone with a scrapyard and a crusher, pop it in a car from an accident scene and Robert is your mothers brother...
  13. Used car lot. What with new cars rolling off the lots like a glacier, the supply of used cars is set to dry up. Low supply, but higher demand since those not buying new will either be hanging on to their current motor or looking to buy used means prices will increase, and margins. Besides, do you know any poor used car lot owners? Lying thieving gits the lot of 'em. Honest John my arse, if you want to know what car to buy, don't ask a used car salesman....

    That or a hairdressers. Not like you can stop growing your hair is it. I talked to one and she said people were not coming in as much, so maybe shares in Wahl clippers and Dyson.
  14. Buy shares in a weapons manufacturer because with all the fights going on around the world, thats the only growth industry at the moment. ( Except crime and unemployment of course ).

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