New Words for 2007

#1
New words to be introduce to the English language in 2007.

* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
Project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
Then leaves.

* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also
applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids or start a "home business".

* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes.

* GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,
you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,
your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known
as a McShit with Lies.

* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa! Aa! Aa!".

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people
so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
your bed instead.

* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
At 3:00am.

* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.

* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
Got 4 buttocks.
 
#5
Blamestorming... I thought that was the job description of the Home Secretary!

As for the Monkey Bath, I know it's bastard offspring only to well: the Pussy Shower that makes you hiss when you first turn it on and the icy water coats you in a thin layer of ice! :lol:
 
#6
AH!! Andy showing us that he has lots more time on his hands thatn the rest of us once more.

Monkey Bath and 404 were my favourites. :grin:

SF
 

geoffg

Lantern Swinger
#12
Yawn, for some more recent neologisms see here
Do we not have a seperate jokes/funnies thread for the cut and paste addicts?
Seems not M8
geoff(ers) :???:
 
#14
geoffg said:
Yawn, for some more recent neologisms see here
Do we not have a separate jokes/funnies thread for the cut and paste addicts?
Seems not M8
geoff(ers) :???:
Seem we do old timer, look here Link to "funnies". I for one would rather keep this tedious bollocks in one thread. Nothing personal, anyone should be able to post what they want, but random cutting and pasting of somebody elses comedy hardly makes for an interesting read. If we can keep it all in one place those of us who want to can ignore it. I wonder how many separate occasions the Nelson/health and safety dit is going to be posted on this site? f you find this crap amusing fine, but its the online equivalent of having a "You dont have to be mad" poster over your desk.
 
#15
Well fuck me!There was i thinking i would inject a small amount of happiness into this otherwise shitty World,and all you do is drip like a fucking Tap!Dont you ever smile?If not then you must have piles!
 
#16
Clanky`s right of course, there`s a place set aside for this stuff, (although I did think it was quite good when I first heard it).
There’s also a sticky for Utube videos which nobody seems to use anymore.


…….
 
#17
andym said:
Well fuck me!There was i thinking i would inject a small amount of happiness into this otherwise shitty World,and all you do is drip like a fucking Tap!Dont you ever smile?If not then you must have piles!
I hardly think suggesting bit of thread husbandry constitutes dripping like a tap. You re the one who's flashing. I did'nt think it would be very long before an ex MA would be enquiring about the state of my Gary Glitter.
 
#18
RNFLUNKY said:
clanky said:
Yawn, for some more recent neologisms see here
Do we not have a seperate jokes/funnies thread for the cut and paste addicts?
Just enjoy the tread & stop dripping..you monkey's trumpet!!!
You are a funny flunky. Did you think that one up whilst you where grabbing your ankles for your latest "Sea Husband"?
 
#19
clanky said:
I did'nt think it would be very long before an ex MA would be enquiring about the state of my Gary Glitter.
It wasnt an enquiry,just an observation.People that dont smile much and are miserable ghets usually have piles!
 
#20
andym said:
clanky said:
I did'nt think it would be very long before an ex MA would be enquiring about the state of my Gary Glitter.
It wasnt an enquiry,just an observation.People that dont smile much and are miserable ghets usually have piles!
So anyone who doesnt laugh at your cut and paste is a miserable ghet? Leave it out Andy, I only suggested posting it in the correct thread. And for your information, the farmers are a result of sitting on steel deckplates for too long! In fact, I'd be surprised if there where many blokes in HMF who didn't have a well developed set of Chalfonts
 
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