New recruit - HOMESICK


My daughter has just completed her first week at Raleigh and up to today was buzzing about everything and really enjoying it..............But tonight she texted to say she feels really low and is missing home etc etc.......Only 16 and the youngest of the intake..........

Any tips / advice to help her keep her chin up and keep her focused ??
She's obviously not being employed enough----

Usually you don't get enough time to think about home .

If she ain't never been away before on her own she is probably on the learning curve of looking after herself totally . Just tell her the others probably are the same but no-one will talk about it .

Hope she overcomes and makes a go of it --the rewards are waiting its just tough at the bottom !!

:nemo: :nemo:
She was fine until today, infact a couple of nights she texted to say too busy to ring.......I think they have had a bit of free time today and she had completed her washing and ironing and had gone to the gym and then found herself with ten mins free and thought about home and the "MISSING IT" feeling came.

Have told her to talk to those in her mess as they surely will be feeling the same


War Hero
After putting two kids through boarding school I can tell you from experience that this is normal, it only takes a small knockback or slight crisis of confidence to bring on the homesickness bug, The good news is that it is likely to be brief as long as she doesn't have time to dwell on it.

Homesickness is a funny word, it should really be called "comfort zone sickness" It's not really home your daughter is missing more the normality of home, just talking to you will have helped, in time Raleigh will become normal and comfortable, then her next training establishment will put her out of her comfort zone, eventually change will become normal and comfortable, that's service life!

All you can really do is encourage her and support her, knowing that what she is doing is the right thing will help her!

Welcome to the site by the way, enjoy!
Thanks to you all

We have told her to think positive and keep busy even if that means doing her locker over and over again and polishing her boots again and again.............

I think your'e spot on on about the comfort zone - roll on Monday when she is to busy to think about home


War Hero
Maddie said:
I think your'e spot on on about the comfort zone - roll on Monday when she is to busy to think about home
I used to get upset when they cried to come home "I'm homesick Dad" only for them to complain that "I miss my friends" when they were at home!

I think most matelots experience homesickness throughout their lives, I miss my family when I'm away but I miss the ship and my mates when I'm at home, it's weird :rendeer:
Chieftiff I think you have it spot on..........If she was at home now she would be with her mates not with us,

She isn't looking forward to tomorrow, church and more free time I think, she is wanting Monday to come so she can get back into the routine again
BZ Chief Tiff. Excellent post. Can empathize with the young lady in question (having joined at 16 myself), but have since experienced son, and grandsons, exhibiting similar reactions when parted from "familiar" surroundings.

Maddie, just do your best to encourage her. I'm sure that Raleigh will do their best too. She will know, within herself, whether she can complete the training.

Separation from family and "normal routine" is a big step for a youngster, be it Raleigh, University, or a new school, but most of us manage to surmount it.

Best wishes, and hopefully, success to your daughter.



War Hero
Not much to add other than welcome to RR!

It's true to say we all feel it from time to time, especially when you have to leave your family & friends to travel back. It's fine when you get there, but a wrench leaving.

Church is often a time for reflection, particularly if you're familiar with attending, so she's free to talk to the padre & express her feelings- that's what they're there for. (Oh, & to drink your beer when you're on a ship, usually!).

As you've already noticed it's "comfort & familiarity" she's missing as they adapt to a new routine, completely alien to them. Much as it tugs at the heart strings just tell her she'll have to stay now as you've rented her room out & taken in a lodger. That ought to do it.
From what I remember of Raleigh morale amongst trainees goes steadily down until about the third week, then they have a bit of a "do" at Pier Cellars and things start to improve, then as they rely on each other and get to know each other more they all start to come together and by week eight they won't want to leave each other. I know a guy who plays rugby for the Navy who was in tears when we all got drafted away.

Tell her to hang in there, as things are about to improve...
Maddie, I can totally relate to your daughter (lol except i was 20 and joined the Army as opposed to the Navy). I used to phone home, upset and fed up and no doubt my mum was in the same frame of mind as yourself.

What probably kept me going during training though was the fact that my parents told me how proud they were of me and that i was doing something worthwhile. I think the best thing you could do is to remind your daughter of how proud you are of her, lend her a sympathetic ear when shes down and offer her words of encouragement.

I know it sounds hard but you've got to be that little bit tough and not take what she says to heart......God knows i would have quit training if my mum had of got upset while i was upset. But no doubt those 'home sick' calls will soon be replaced by calls of excitement thats shes learning all things new and doing things she never thought was possible.

Give her my warmest wishes and i truly hope she succeeds in her endeavours.

I was very lucky I hardly suffered from Homesickness.

This may be due to the fact I was so used to being away from the family for various reasons.

Yes I missed the family etc but I never yerned to be home. I was to occupied doing to many things in training or away on ship. I kept myself occupied as much as I could with something.

The trainees are lucky they can contact home more easily these days with Mobile phones, internet facilities during their basic training. Something that wasn't available during my basic training days. So maybe not always being able to phone home from the paybox helped to get over being away.

Once she's out of the comfort zone and she knows she can talk to family when she can is always good and she'll get through it. Best not to wrap her up in cotton wool though and try to motivate her to keep going than to want to hug her so much. If that makes sense.
Thanks to all the replies and advice

Spoke with her this morning and she is a lot brighter and said that last night she had a bad headache and was glad when it was lights out.

Told her to keep going and we are really proud of her and she babbled on about what she will be doing next week and also about her "passing out parade" so it looks like she hit a blip and has now bounced back.

Once again thanks and I will keep you posted on how she gets on
Im 21 and I am nervous at the thought of joining Raleigh. Clearly your daughter is far braver than I am!

All the best to her and yourself, shes doing an amazing thing.


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