Need relationship advice

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by MNRN, Jul 29, 2010.

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  1. Paid off ship yesturday. Brought the missus back a present... Chlamydia! Planning on buying antibiotics from tinterweb and slipping it in her food at the end of leave. Anyone else got any better plans?
  2. Good lad.

    You could do the old classic and tell her you have to have an aids test because you accidentally trod on a syringe on a dodgy beach. She won't want to go anywhere near you.

    When your dose has cleared up tell her the results came back negative and it's all good.

    She'll love you more for it, trust me. Worked for LOM(UW) G**** on my last ship. ;)
  3. How are you going to treat the other STDs you probably have too? Most don't give you any symptoms, especially in men.

    GUM beckons...!
  4. been there, thats how I know. Worried I've already given her it- last time I got checked was a year and a half ago
  5. Every morning hit your dick with a hammer. If it doesn't hurt you ain't got a dose. Failing that get to the pox shop. Chlamydia particularly nasty in a woman. Some antibiotics won't work. Off the internet it'll probably be chalk and you won't know if it's cleared her (YOUR) condition. Year and a half since a check and sexually active? Get a divorce, save having to do it later. :D
  6. Don't tell her then say you got got it off her then blame her for giving it to you. Role reversal
  7. Get to a STD clinic --and take your mrs too .

    No good you having a dose treated if you've given it to her already .

    Just tell her you think theres something wrong and get her to go too. Its a very fast service for testing and confidential as well.

    Better safe than sorry . Chances are she may have been getting a leg over aswell when you was away !

  8. Relationship? Surely Ex-Relationship when she finds out.
    Ever heard of condoms?
  9. Oh how romantic, does she love flowers? :roll: :wink:
  10. I think you might have to throw yourself on her mercy .........

    Actually, I know you must.

    I'm no medic but I have read that chlamydia can leave a woman permanently infertile. That could be a massive price to ask her to pay for a momentary indiscretion on your part.

    If you choose not to say anything, that will take any influence you still have over the situation completely away. If you say nothing and you have given it to her, everything is going to move very quickly; you may find that she packs and leaves while you are away. If she finds out while you are at home .........

    I wouldn't normally suggest a lie but could you say that you made a mistake while you were very very drunk and this will never ever happen again? Say that you have been an idiot (that bit isn't a lie by the way) and beg for her forgiveness. Ask how you can make it up to her .........

    You may wish to get a brochure on luxury weekends in Paris or something ........

    And finally - read NZ Bootneck's comment and inwardly digest it. I'm frankly surprised that this idea didn't occur to you at the time. Where have you been for the last 27 years? Mars?
  11. Selfish bastard.
  12. Is this thread a wind up??????? or are some Matelots that thick and stupid and selfish :oops: :oops: Nice reply Maam :wink:
  13. Couldn't have put it better myself.
  14. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

  15. That's what the OPs missus will be shouting when he starts to spin his "I caught it off a toilet seat, love. Honest!" dit. :lol:
  16. Years ago a POMA during his intro presentation, at Royal Arthur, explained ....'The seat has to be wooden, and you have to eat it'

    As for the first poster....grow up and take responsibility
  17. Its because of numptys like this that my wife gives me such a hard time when I am away.

    Cover your guns before entering harbour!! not hard is it.
  18. Unfortunately it was, which is why he's in the sh1t now.
  19. Ignoring the obvious that you're an idiot and you cheated on her. You seem quite happy to save your own balls by not saying anything yet she may become infertile if she leaves it too long. I have a very good friend that didn't realise she had it for ages. Now she's had god knows how many ops to get rid of pre-cancerous cells as a result. Guess what, it hasn't gone away and she's guaranteed to never have kids and it's pretty certain to develop into cancer.

    Good one. Selfish p**k.
  20. If you want to riddle yourself with crap then that is up to you, but it wasn't fair to do that. You should tell her so she can get checked out, and let's hope yours drops off, you cannot handle the resposibility of possessing such a powerful weapon. :x

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