Neddy / Chavvy Scum

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Trigger_92, Aug 23, 2010.

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  1. Right folks,

    After a weekend of torrent abuse at work from the biggest junkiefied neddy / chavvy scum I have ever seen, I was sat wondering today what the best way to deal with them (at work) would be.

    Now, Get this. Company policy states that if we are attacked we are not allowed to protect ourselves, Rather we have to ' take a step back and try to calm the situatiuon down '

    Now the way I see it, when you have 10-15 rather angry, (for no apparent reason, other than to make your day hell) probably high on something or other, men / women in front of you. Screaming all sorts of abuse for just doing my job, And if they take a swing at you, I am not going to stand there and take it.

    So Id like to hand it over to the RR faithful, who I know have a beautiful way with words. But also the plans of torture etc etc that they could help me out with.

    All suggestions welcome :D
  2. First need to know your role/status before making a suggestion.
  3. I'm an extreme sports centre attendant.

    A rather posh way of saying, I work on a paintball site. Potentially lethal weapons at hand ;)
  4. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Be better at your job, then they won't get angry with you. :wink:

    Or obtain their address details from their booking forms and go around to their houses and... well, I'm sure you can guess the rest! :twisted:
  5. Tell them you need their name, address etc (for insurance purposes or some bullshit). With this information you would be free to pursue revenge at your leisure.

    Arson is relatively easy if you don't mind killing their fat slaggy missus and illegitimate kids too.
    If you're really serious you could go for some nice long term psychological torture (i'm sure if you ask Jonno nicely he'll give you some tips).
  6. Best thing to do is look back on your life, and realise that had you worked harder you would now be planning two months of real pheasant shooting from the comfort of your Georgian farmhouse, as your Range-Rover driving delicious blonde wife gently massaged your penis.

    It won't make you feel any better, but it might give you a happy place to go to as you review the failure that is your life.
  7. Sgt - As im a supervisor, I was actually covering my ' oppos ' arse ;)

    And yes, I have access to all names and adresses, so that could be one way to go!

    JJ - Im only 18, Theres still time. After ive done My full time, hopefully more in the mob. Ill be looking you up and handing you a range rover or two, as I will be able to buy them like toys :D Ive got big plans with my life, But first lots of fun and hard work in the mob ! :lol:
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    18 years old and a Supervisor already? Are you in the Sea Cadets as well..? :oops:
  9. No shit :D

    Ive worked there since the day I turned 16. I swear its nothing to do with the retardas I work with ;)
  10. Have you been stalking me again?

    I feel your pain Trigger. When I was 16 I worked as a marshal at a go kart track for the summer before I joined the mob.

    Basically I would spend my weekends being run down by over competitive dicks, still hungover from the stripperfest stag do they had been to the night before. On the occasion that you would have to enforce some rules and black flag a cnut for driving like a twat, you'd end up with 10 or 12 tatted up chavs trying to batter you.

    Luckily all the marshals were radioed up and we'd just get the lad who was manning the hairpin to chuck a little oil on the track. This would invariably result in a massive pile up and them getting ejected from the site by the manager.
  11. Trigger, As a taxi driver who has to take not only verbal but physical abuse I can understand your problem. I've had everything from being called a fat cnut (Partly true) to someone trying to give me a chelsea smile by thrusting a stanley knife at me through the change hole.
    With the Physical abusers its simple - telephone the police, I notice that you are in Glasgow so no doubt Strathclyde's finest will be along (in there own time) to fix penalty fine the wankers - and do not much else. However make sure you have some sort of voice recording device as at the end of the day its your word against their's I use my mobile phone for this purpose. The added advantage is that it puts the police in a position where they MUST arrest.

    The verbals just get decanted from my Taxi of a place of my choosing (usually in the middle of nowhere where I know there is no mobile phone reception). I then call my office and ask them to pass round the details of these folk to other taxi companies.

    Hope this inspires you in some way

  12. 2DD. That sounds exactly like my job, obviously just a different sport!

    I find the radios we use to be excellent when either catching folk of guard, to give them a game ban for lifting their masks. Unfortunately the only amusement we get is dropping some pyro next to the ' Ard' Men ' of the groups, and watch them scream like little girls when it goes off.

    Generally we get some not too bad groups through our doors, We get a lot of stag do's from down south that are a great laugh during the course of the day. Theres been many a time when the police have been called and an all out riot has almost ensued.

    Edit; KAT- Thank you very much for that, I do realise that a few of the guys we work with do get really un easy and un sure what to do when things do kick off like that. I think ill suggest at the next staff meeting that maybe we should be issued with voice recorders or something similar, if not to protect the company. As you say, their word against your own.
  13. Keep a stock of paintballs in the freezer and Give them half an hour free tuition :D
  14. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Apologies for the thread drift, but being fully aware of the rules of evidence, obtaining a covertly obtained voice recording may potentially contravene the provisions of RIPA 2000 and the Human Rights Act 1998, with regards to intrusive surveillance and the right to privacy. Check the legal ramifications first before you start using recording devices in your place of work... :oops:
  15. Get yursel' a BIG dug with a face like it's lickin' pish o' a nettle
  16. Without a doubt, That has to be one of the best 14 second of my day so far :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  17. SPB

    Interesting stuff. Some Cabies have CCTV in their cabs and advertise the fact. I've actually recorded the police trying to FP fine me for having my fog lights on in supposedly clear conditions. the minute they saw the camera come out (on video mode) and I started recording the conditions they started back-tracking. I got let off with a warning Ha ha. I think the problem is that you have to inform people that they are being monitored otherwise the police/council etc would be as guilty as the rest of us.
    Ive already had to take phots of people parking on taxi ranks without good reason ...

  18. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Kat: Exactly my point; so long as you are legally permitted to record in your place of work (i.e. inside the vehicle) and you advertise the fact that passengers are subject to CCTV recording, then there is no problem. However that is far different to someone buying recordable surveillance equipment and installing it on their person/in their place of work and obtaining evidence discreetly, with the intention of formulating an intended prosecution...

    My only advice is - check the law first. :thumbleft:
  19. Welcome to the real world.
    It's full of necky cnuts who think because you work in a joint that they've paid some money to use, either in fees or taxes/rates, it gives them the right to abuse you when they don't get exactly what they want, even if what they want isn't included in the cost.
    Your choices are:
    Take their money, do your job and suck it up until you can get in the RN.
    Take their money, get pished off at necky twats, then lamp one of them, get interviewed by rozzers, get sacked, get Court date, get convicted, tell AFCO man of conviction, get see you later letter from RN.

    Just remember that the biggest thrill the sad twunts who give you grief are going to be getting is paintballing.

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