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Navy as a last resort option


Deleted 88339

Hello I turned 23 last month. I am not young anymore and everyday i feel like my life is nothing but a failure. I have lived all these years and have nothing to show for it. People my age are doing big things with thier lives travelling, getting married or moving in with thier boyfriends, having careers, becoming famous etc
I am a loser.
- i am on universal credit. In the UK being on benefits means you are a failure.
- I graduated last year(july)with a 2.1 in law. I dont want to pratice law. I have struggled to find work ever since. I get rejected for minimum wage jobs , most graduate jobs i dont have enough for. Graduating university i have lost my purpose and structure.

I dont know what i want to do with my life it is the biggest source of misery in my life. I know i want to make the world a better place.
- I am single and virgin. It is so embrassing. I never had a boyfriend

Everyday i wake up and i feel like i have nothing to live for. I have no job to go to, no partner and
I have nothing going for me.

I envy people who work as they have something to wake up for.
I have family but i feel like a burden and embrassment to them family never say this but feel like i have let them down. My relatives would phone my nan and ask what i am doing. It is so horrible.

I am interested in joing the navy
- i am scared of the recession because of covid 19. I see the navy as an escape
-i want an exciting life.
- i hate my life
I know there is worse things out there.
I have messed up my entire life .
I am so sorry for my post i have reached a point in my life as i have no options.
No options
Masters degree: I dont want more debt and fear graduating again.
Work: covid 19 forget it.

Deleted 88339

I am selfish or wrong for wanting to join navy ? I need opinions

Is it it wrong to join the navy because you cant find a job?

I am so sorry for post and typos as well
I am going through a mid life crisis (equivlaent) very early.
I always thought when i was younger i would be doing big things with my life.

I have done nothing with my life it feels so disappointing. It is so hard to explain.
I am a loser i realise this everyday.
I have lost all control of my life and have nothing to live for. I want to escape and start my life again.

Chris P

War Hero
Hmmm, is this another cry for help - or a wind up, someone will be along shortly with a definitive answer one way or the other as they have on several occasions before :(


War Hero
Super Moderator
Why ask for opinions on here, if you want to join up get on to the AFCO.

Take charge of your life. My youngest son has a law degree and works for the RBL, just having a law degree doesn't mean you have to practice law ( he got a 2:1 as well).
Good luck for the future.

To other site members, serious answers only please.


War Hero
Super Moderator
Just to add, you asked all these questions before Rose, January this year to be precise and were advised to go to the AFCO then, did you not go?


War Hero
Spotted that too!
People these days just don't seem to have the same self motivation. @Rose the only person who can help you is you!! YOU have to get to or at least call the Careers Office. Non of us are going to do it for you. You are obviously intelligent having gained a degree so use some of that oomph to get off your arse and take control of your life and future.
Harsh perhaps, I'm not renowned for tact. Just make the first contact and see where you go from there. We are all responsible for our own destinies!!!


War Hero
This has got to be a bite. If it isn’t, I’m very much in the camp of owning your shit.

I’ve got PTSD and all sorts of cray shot going on. I get ahead of it and own it. It drives me forward.

If you want it. Go for it. Don’t wax lyrical if you can’t or won’t do anything about it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


War Hero
@Rose As others have said your destiny is in your own hands. If you're keen to join the RN they will welcome you with open arms subject to the usual checks.
I see you have rejected the idea of getting a minimum wage job but it might do wonders for your confidence being involved with a team( a key part of service life). Your co-employees are likely to be less judgmental and only expect you to tug your end of the rope. Everyone starts at the bottom of the ladder in the job market and what you make of it after that it is down to you.


War Hero
I have done nothing with my life it feels so disappointing. It is so hard to explain.
I am a loser i realise this everyday.
I have lost all control of my life and have nothing to live for. I want to escape and start my life again.
At the risk that we are all being WAH'D....
I don't see how anyone with a degree can be a looser. When I left school a tiny percentage of people went to university; unfortunately Mr Blair made it easier for many more people to attend tertiary education and hence the passport that a degree gave one is no longer valid. The system could not afford the grants and free education previously offered, so your generation have had to PTN for their degree. This has not made you a looser, it has made you a victim of socialist policy.

I re-read your previous thread about mental health. I don't know you. I don't know your past, and I am far, far, from qualified to comment even if I did. I ask, almost as an aside, if it is true depression or frustration with the lot in which you find yourself.

I saw, from the January post, that, you think INT might be the career path for you. ISA, I don't know you, so I can't and won't comment. Only the AFCO and the streaming process can steer this. Who knows - you may have the acumen for pilot.

I'm going to suggest something that I rarely do - have a look at the RNR, as a lower deck entrant. This would give you a look see, help develop the personal skills you might need to boost and would prep you for an AIB, regular or reserve, if that is what you decide to do.

Two hours a week of navy, that could start you on the step that you so evidently desire.

PS But we are not a last resort, we are a first step.


Lantern Swinger
Hello I turned 23 last month. I am not young anymore and everyday i feel like my life is nothing but a failure. I have lived all these years and have nothing to show for it. People my age are doing big things with thier lives travelling, getting married or moving in with thier boyfriends, having careers, becoming famous etc

I wish I was 23 again. Then I might have bought a scooter and a guitar and tried to learn to sing. We had a hospital in my home town staffed with nuns. A great place to be born and have your tonsils out and bid farewell to your grandfather and stuff. Nuns might not become famous but they provide a lot of comfort to people, and I reckon we need a lot more of them.


Deleted 88339

No my post is not for a cry for help or trolling . I am actually serious.

Since my birthday i cant help but feel like i have ruined my life. I am panicking because i am nowhere near where i am suposed to be.

At my age it should be coming together. Everything is just a mess. I just want to leave everything and start again. The people i went to school with i also go to church with. Seeing them having thier lives together and i dont is so disappointing. I avoid people just so they wont ask me what i am doing.

I didnt go my local AFCO. It feels weird going. I will try to at some point.

I am not the typical person to be in a place like the navy.
Navy people normally i think are strong, good at swimming, driving a submarnie, reading coordinates etc , sporty like army men.
Then there is me
I am in to politics and watching sci fi programmes. I am a politics geek . I can stay up all night watching election results. I have done this for all elections.
I am too femmine ( red lispstick and floral is what i wear normally)
I enjoy male company and attention.
I cant even drive a car. During my lessons i slam on the brake .

I do love meeting people, i love adventure and making a postive difference

Deleted 88339

Personally I'm concerned with the op thread title:
Navy as a last resort option
Or is that just me?
Growing up i never considered a career in the navy. Now that i realise i made a mess of my life i just want an escape from all my problems. I want a differnet life and to start again.

Lots of reasons why i never wanted to join
- I am a black female( top reason why i never want to join). The armed forces in all branches have a problem of racism and sexaul harassment/abuse. All workplaces have this problem but the armed forces is more ? ( cant find the world to explain it)
- my family are not really a miltary family.
-i am unfit . I am not fat as a hippo but i am slim. My sister says i am thin as a stick.
- scared of failing the medical.
Last edited by a moderator:


War Hero
Firstly - you need to talk to someone at the recruiting office. By phone or walk in!

Secondly. Many navy folk can't swim, drive a submarine or read coordinates. All these skills are learn't whilst in. But you have to get in. (I joined at the grand age of 15, straight from school, no qualifications, a non swimmer. I started life as a aircraft mechanic working through as experience was gained. Got a bit fed up, transferred to aircrew, where a new skill set was learned navigating, operating radar and sonar systems, firing missiles. Always learning.) So many of your fears of what you can't do are simply because you never have.
I never drove a car until I was 32, (17 years after joining). So your into politics. You'd be surprised at what many matelots are into!!! (Good job this is not Lil's) Sorry private joke for my fellow Rum Rationers). Hint though, if you do join, don't push politics!! It's kinda like no religion, no politics.

So, think of a job you would like to do, the navy have loads, from logistics to pilots and everything in-between. You have to start somewhere, the initial approach is maybe the most daunting for you but until you make that first step, life will just carry on. You have nothing to lose by talking to a recruiter.

Just read you new post about racism. What a load of bollcks!!! Sorry, but that simply isn't true. And if I'm honest - offensive. All of us ex serving have worked along side many different races and all we see is a fellow sailor. You are so wrong.
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