Narcissistic Children?

Discussion in 'Current Affairs' started by sgtpepperband, Mar 15, 2009.

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  1. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    In this BBC report there are concerns that we are now turning out a nation of narcissistic kids.

    To my mind there is a balance between self-esteem and over-inflated ego. We all like to have fond imaginings about ourselves and our capabilities, but sooner or later we have to discover that we are not as fit/clever/witty etc., as we'd like to think. But if we don't train kids to accept themselves within their own parameters, or worse, drop the standards so that nobody's self-esteem takes a knock, we are not giving them resilience. It's a sort of psychological cotton wool.

    But isn't this part of the Celeb culture, the instant success, and the don't-diss-my-fambly attitude?! :? :oops:
  2. 'drop the standards so that nobody's self-esteem takes a knock, we are not giving them resilience. It's a sort of psychological cotton wool' Quote SPB

    For my pennyworth that is exactly what is happening, coupled with an excess of choice.
  3. SgtP
    For once we are in total agreement (must go and have a lie down). :p
  4. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Slim: Sorry, shippers - it won't happen again... :oops: :wink:
  5. Definately (so called) Celebs are narcissist, but are the ordinary children ? Do they admire themselves or are they just envious of others around them.

    Is it ego that makes them smash off wing mirrors or are there mental changes taking place in their brains that weren't present 40 years ago?

    I don't think they practice narcissm as in the past from what I have seen, remember Kookie in 77 Sunset Strip, now that really was narcissm and it rubbed off on the youth of the day.

    I think they have used the wrong word and the true reasons haven't been discovered yet.
    Arrogance might fit the bill.
  6. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    NMC: But isn't arrogance a form of narcissm? I'm all for young people being confident in their abilities, but to be so at the expense of others' sensitivities could be construed as narcissm...
  7. Of course it is. We don't build enough of the right kind of confidence in our children. A little praise when something in done well can go a long long way to building a better person.
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Okay, fair enough. So long as such praise is a deserved and quantifiable commodity, and "da kidz" don't just come to expect or demand it. And then become frustrated when they don't get it on tap...
  9. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It is not helped by the government's apparent desire to keep raising the grades for the same exam results, either. The Government is 99% of the way there already,ensuring that all exam papers are marked as high as possible so that nearly everyone passes with 80-90%. This makes their education policies good, makes the teachers look good, makes the kids think they are intelligent, and in years to come we end up with a Cabinet like we have now, full of below average intelligent people.

    Education has been dumbed down ever since Labour came to power. Most kids now wouldn't pass an O Level exam like I sat years ago. But failing miserably is we have come to expect. I have a couple of friends who are both teachers and they have said that GCSEs of today are far easier than they were when they sat them close on 15 years ago. So far from teaching them higher standards they have to work with the very blunt tools that they are provided with.

    Whilst they both love their jobs, they also feel that they are being badly let down by the ever increasing insurgence of spying, prying attempts at tinkering and the ever presence of a threat to complain by parents and pupils whether justified or not.

    Today, the kids are being rewarded with higher grades (for the same work) than they would have several years ago.

    As an example, my wife took an interest in photography and studied it at college a few years ago. There were no degree courses in that subject at that college at the time and the highest exam was a City & Guilds. She spent three years obtaining her certificate, yet today, the same college runs the same syllabus but the students are rewarded with a degree.

    The whole corrupt system has devalued what was achieved by people who passed through the system a few years ago. It is all very well saying how well these kids have done but what a kick in the face for people a little older. These people will have to face life competing with apparently brighter, younger, people when it comes to jobs.
  10. I think it all starts at home. Kids are being reared to think of themselves as the centre of the Universe, and it must come as a shock to realise that outside the home that no longer applies, as everyone else is at the centre of the Universe with them.
    Think of all those signs you see in the back of car windows."Back off, kids onboard". Whatever gave these people the impression that their kids lives are more worthy than mine?
  11. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Exactly. Children are not special. I mean, as a parent, you might suggest they are special to you. But as a 'breed' they are not special. Likewise, childbirth is not a 'miracle'; it's a chemical reaction, much like eating a pie and then having a dump. A congregated bunch of cells formed when a sperm meets an egg...

    We should like all people, regardless of age - why do some cry out "What about the children; think about the children!" when an accident occurs? Do they suddenly get to an age when all of a sudden they drop off your Love List?

    :? :wink:
  12. Several home truths being expressed here. A lot of it comes down to the victory of spin over substance in today's increasingly selfish society.

    Tell youngsters that they are achieving great things by diluting (dumbing down) the content of lessons, reducing pass marks and publishing questionable statistics in impressive-looking league tables and they (and their parents) will soon start believing it. If some awkward subjects like maths, biology, physics, chemistry and foreign languages involve putting in a bit of effort, encourage them to take easier options (anyone for modern art, sociology, media studies, history of the comic, etc?) to give them the illusion of achievement. Just for good measure, tell them that competition is a bad thing and everyone is a winner irrespective of how hard they try. I'm all for praise where it's due but these messages combine to persuade them that success shouldn't require any personal effort.

    Encourage youngsters to demand respect for their 'rights' without accepting the accompanying responsibilities, swamp their hard-pressed teachers with unnecessary admin to take the joy out of their profession, deprive them of any authority or means to implement it and then hang them out to dry whenever violent little Johnny or his equally unruly parent smashes their door down (or them) with some spurious grievance. This will guarantee that they grow up selfish, intolerant and inconsiderate with no respect for authority or anyone displaying a higher intellect.

    Show youngsters that fame and fortune are the most significant measures of success by making role models of talentless, often badly behaved celebrities given wall-to-wall media coverage and paid (but by no means earning) zillions. That way they will grow up believing that they should be rewarded for simply 'wanting it' enough. We've seen more than enough of these 'wannabees' on TV.

    Give youngsters whatever they want as soon as they want it and they will grow up expecting instant gratification with everything handed to them on a plate. If it's not, then it must be somebody else's fault and 'somebody should do something'.

    Wrap youngsters in cotton wool, remove risk from every aspect of youth activity and penalise youth leaders who try to encourage the spirit of adventure so that youngsters grow up equipped to deal with life's problems. If something happens, it's always somebody else's fault (preferably, somebody whose organisation can afford to pay big bucks) so who's surprised that we live in a worsening blame culture and have become litigation mad. As in most things, the only winners are the lawyers.

    Advise youngsters that carrying around a student loan debt of £18k or more is no 'biggie' and that living on credit is not only acceptable but actively encouraged, They will then grow up adhering to the 'buy now, pay later' mind set. Penalise thrift by taxing investments in personal pension schemes, life assurance policies and savings, punish the elderly by making them pay for their own care and hand out benefits like candy to spendthrifts and ne'er-do-wells will have youngsters asking, "Why bother?".

    And another thing... (to be continued)
  13. 5 Grandkids - and yesterday - was tasked to get the
    X-Box out of the living room (too bloody noisy when
    they're killing Japanese Soldiers 10 hours a day). Off
    we goes and I wind up buying the required Wireless
    Connection stuff.....PLUS ANOTHER X-BOX (grand total
    some £200). Home and shift all stuff around and about.
    Get it all up in their room - they visit and promptly shove
    off upstairs - never to be seen. Wolf Pack Leader happy
    with the silence in the lounge - but UNHAPPY when the
    two of 'em are still World War Twoing it at three in the
    morning. So now they have 1 x X-Box (Wireless), 1 x
    X-Box (for use by one other Grandkid when other is
    yapping head off on X-Box Live), and Wolf Pack Leader
    storming about quote "You two are NOT staying next
    weekend because you don't know when to stop do you!"
    There's me - £200 light, but next weekend's free.
    I feel like explaining to Mrs Wife that the two grandsons
    only come to stay to be waited upon hand and foot and
    to have 48 hours free and clear to curse down the mike
    when doing battle "On-Line".....and not in truth to actually
    visit us two. Way of the world I suppose - children these
    days seem to honestly believe that whatever is wanted will
    be promptly sourced and delivered, no matter what.

    For the most part - its absolutely true.
  14. ....our Newbies forum a fair parameter of the yoof of today ?.
  15. Billy - What an entertaining post. I am assuming your grand kids are of suitable ages for the following to have a fair wind. Before they come back for a return match, put all that computer stuff on e-Bay or get rid of it some other way and re-invest the money in some garden play equipment and indoor games.

    When they do come back, turn the kitchen table upside down in the living room (or outside if the weather permits) and tell them it's a life raft in the middle of the oggin. Provide some 'paddles' then ask them which ocean they'd like it to be and why. Get them to sit in it with you as the 'Captain' and tell them they are the survivors of a ship that was torpedoed three days ago. One of them could be injured in some way. Coax them them to discuss what the injury might be and what treatment would be required. Ask them what supplies they think they'd have on board (water, cream crackers and possibly chocolate are allowable) and what single personal possession they'd have salvaged from the ship. Then have them make up stories about themselves, their backgrounds, their roles on board the ship, their hopes and their fears. Pretend to go through storms, freezing cold nights, burning hot days, attack by sharks, near-miss rescues and so on. Keep it going for as long as you can.

    This used to work for me and my youngsters and I can't wait to try it out with my own grand kids, if and when any materialise. We certainly need to re-establish family life in this country, inclusive of all the generations, as the key to a more civilised and less self-centred society. This hasn't been helped by recent government policies aimed at destroying it through financial disincentives and the treatment of single parent families and other unconventional combinations on a par with the traditional model. Before anyone accuses me of slandering single parents, gay and lesbian couples, etc, I concede that there are worthy exceptions but the facts show that children from traditional nuclear families tend to eat better, have healthier lifestyles, are more sociable, have fewer teenage pregnancies and are less liable to end up in mischief than those from other backgrounds. According to UNICEF, we do not do at all well in this area compared with other developed nations (link).

    As someone who returned to this country on my own to join the RN and all but lost touch with my parents and siblings, I came to appreciate the joys of family relationships relatively late in life. If there's any chance of turning your grandchildren's visits into the enjoyable occasions they should be, then anything's worth a try.

    P.S. This article in the Times and the comments after it make for shameful reading - Outcry after Unicef identifies UK's 'failed generation of children'. On the upside, our children have promised my wife and me the best garden shed possible in which to live out our days when no longer able to fend for ourselves.
  16. Just a thought but at which point do you discuss and choose who's going to be eaten first? :D
  17. When everyone's stopped throwing up diced carrots of course, something I never understood when you hadn't eaten them for days. :scratch:

    Sea shanties... did I mention the morale-boosting sea shanties?
  18. Sgtpepperband: My sentiments exactly......If they spent less time looking in a mirror and more time looking for a might just improve their outlook a tad...

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