If we had a band in rum ration, we'd have all the folks here to fix, The rhythm the base and the treble, and then of course we would have stix. He learned how to play on a banjo, before he could even wear jeans, He made such a racket up homers , they fuck him off to the Marines. Both parents went deaf before thirty, His sister left home at just ten, His brother ran of with a sailor, And just popped home now and then. He rehearsed when he could in a field, The audience being a cow, Who volunteered quick to be slaughtered, So to get away from the row. He joined the marines down at lympston, The county was soon well devoid, Of citizens who all had pissed off, After telling him they were annoyed. Then came the idea to Jim boy, He thought it would cure all the anger, He started to play with a bugle as well, Oh god that was one fuckin big clanger. The day finally came when his CO, Said Jim its Ok now and then, But that constant din,.. is doing my head in, Please fuck off and upset the RN. So fresh out of Royal Naval College, They pinned a note on his gold ring, "Please keep him away from the drum kit we pray, And don't let the tone deaf twat sing"