My plan...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by thereverend, Jun 20, 2010.

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  1. Right, no-one seems to think this is a good idea but I'm still pretty certain that with the right research, preperation and bollocks made of brass then it could easily be done. What is it you say? It's known as "The Stella Inspectors".

    Whilst enjoying a few brandys over a game of cribbage and cigars last night me and a few chaps got to discussing possible scams and I brought up this gem I've been thinking about. You need to get uniforms/shirt emblazened with the AB InBev logo, an ID card again with the logo on and some proffesional looking headed paper on a clipboard. With these you could go round on a busy night and ask to speak to the manager, show him the badge and explain that AB InBev are now doing spot checks on all their draught products (Stella and Becks being the most common) and say you need to check the barrels and you require a pint pulling to check numerous bits and bobs such as how well its travelled and so forth. With this you fill out one of the sheets of paper, tick certain boxes and so on, sign it, rubber stamp and tell them to send it to AB InBev for reimbursement of the 3 pints you and your colleagues have just tested.

    Job done, next pub.
     
  2. I had a similar scam, involving a Bank and a sawn-off shotgun.

    Keeeerchinggggg
     
  3. It's not a decent scam unless it has a catchy name Jonno
     
  4. Mine did; it was called 'GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND, THE FUCKING GROUND YOU DEAF BITCH. AAGHHHHHHH YOU'll ALL DIE NOW. . . BOOM'
     
  5. Yes, rolls off the tongue rather nicely does that
     
  6. See? Told you.
     
  7. Love the plan. Though most pubs are part of a chain company and the company handles quality control itself when the barrels are changed prior to the lager/beer etc being declared ready for sale.

    That said............its worth a try
     
  8. Just drop hints that your a "secret shopper", pay attention to what the bar staff are doing, asl leading questions, take furtive notes/piccy's etc.
    They'll lash you up or sling you out.
     
  9. As I lie here on the pavement with my face smashed in, my note book torn to shreads and my camera shoved up my arse,..Wrecker I think of you :twisted: :twisted: :?
     
  10. Meant to say it rarely works though, sorry RR my keyboard ran out of ink :(
     
  11. Dealt with enough 'secret customer' people when i was at wetherspoons. Fun it be watching them stumble through a list of things they are told to order without realising it gives the game away for its predictability. Shame they have to pay for everything (and get reimbursed later of course) as otherwise itd be a surefire scam opportunity :)
     

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