My new wife

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by JonnoJonno, Apr 18, 2010.

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  1. Evening cunts

    So, I'm in love. I have just watched Question Time on BBC Parliament and one of the audience asking questions was this honey:

    If you have iPlayer have a look for her (she's on at 51:00).

    She probably lives in London, so I need a place to use as HQ. Perhaps 2DD could chuck the OC out of his office, and lend me the resources to launch a determined surveillance mission to find her?

    As we all know, I am already a God (see my thread on cutting myself and healing immediately) and I am sure that she and I could breed such beautiful babies that a new world order is likely to commence.

    I could sculpt candles out of her ear wax, and plait her undoubtedly long armpit hair from here to eternity.


    PS, if you know her, I will pay money for her tampons (and possibly her phone number). She is even better than that chick off Ice Road Truckers.
  2. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It's pleasing to see that in this crazy world we live in, love can blossom. Jonno, how can this beauty refuse your admirable advances? I wish you well in your stalking/torture quest.
  3. In short, she can't mate. She can make it easier on herself though. You still good at wedding vows?
  4. I know her, her sexual abiliries are second to none or so I've been told. You won't be able to breed super children however as her name is/was Brian pre-op.
  5. Damn you man; how very dare you question this perfect angel. A plague of locusts upon your vegetable patch you cruel cruel man.

    If you're telling the truth however, I don't care. I'd still pursue her.
  6. My Bold

    In some legal circles that may be construed as stalking ...
  7. Thought that was Kerry Katona!
  8. Oh yeah, I remember.... 'Betty Brace'. You could just see it under her cleft lip as she dribbled. (thats gotta hurt-ya!!)

    But at least she could remember what her question was (unlike the bint who when asked by JD, forgot what she was going to ask)
  9. I prefer to think of it as 'determined courting'. Sounds better in court.
  10. Just knowing that you are capable of some, perturbed, form of love, kinda makes me feel more hopeful about humanity JJ :)
  11. You might feel more hopeful about humanity as a whole, but spare a thought for the poor girl.

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