My fcuking dog - again!!!! HELP

#1
Moved house 2 months ago and last week the fcuking dog went awol out of the garden after frantic calls to the dog warden they located him at a nearby farm were the kind lady had grabbed him off the road minus hiss collar I donated a nice expensive bottle of vino and dragged the bastard home. Next day fecker does it again despite copious amounts of chicken wire round the garden this time it cost me a bottle of fizz (all I had left), well buger me Bob we go out for a christening on HMS TRIUMPH on sunday olnly to come home and find he had gone on the trot again but this time he ended up in the kennels and it cost me £93 to get him bail. Why the fuck is he suddenly doing this for??? bitch in heat or me being a twat to him either way he's currently downstairs with electrodes attached to his bollocks. Advice please
 
#5
As ever sound advice on Lils - fcuking Tibetan Terriers wish I had read up on the bastard breed before I bought him for my daughter who promtly fcuked off and joined the pusser 6 months after I got him. Apparently they are real bastards to train and this black fecker is no exception
 
#6
stan_the_man said:
As ever sound advice on Lils - fcuking Tibetan Terriers wish I had read up on the bastard breed before I bought him for my daughter who promtly fcuked off and joined the pusser 6 months after I got him. Apparently they are real bastards to train and this black fecker is no exception
Have you been to classes, Stan?
 

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#8
soleil said:
stan_the_man said:
As ever sound advice on Lils - fcuking Tibetan Terriers wish I had read up on the bastard breed before I bought him for my daughter who promtly fcuked off and joined the pusser 6 months after I got him. Apparently they are real bastards to train and this black fecker is no exception
Have you been to classes, Stan?
Evidently not Finishing School, judging by his appalling language... 8O :lol:
 
#13
Raised on a farm, dogs were just animals with no name,we shot the sheepdogs when they nipped a ewe or whatever so;
Against my better judgement my wife bought an Afghan Hound,lovely pedigree but it kept doing a runner and I always found it in the local Graveyard, digging!
Now this graveyard was ancient and bones kept coming to surface on occasions so I wasn't happy.
One day I took him on the moors and he wouldn't come back,I had to leave for work and after that I went back to the moors to find a farmer had shot him for killing 3 sheep.
Bastard wanted to charge me for them so I said "OK load the dead ones in my car I'll carve them and I'll sell them around the village!" he backed off but no more dogs for me.
 
#15
Rumrat said:
The dog simply needs an injection to stop him wandering, they work immediately and cost £50.00.
Or for a more amusing result insert a Mk 15 T'flash up it's arse and connect to a 9v battery!*




*make sure that you do it outside though!
 
#16
How about a stake in the lawn with a rope long enough for it to move around but not long enough to escape?

If that doesn't work, a stake through the heart.
 
#17
Given that he is only little, why don't you leave him inside the house if you have to go out? Why put him in the garden?

He should have a nice comfortable basket with a favourite blanket and some toys; you could even leave the TV on for him, he might like that.

Obviously some newspaper and a bowl of water and some favourite food.

Take him for a long, long walk before you have to go out and then he will settle down in his basket quietly. He should really be getting an hour of walks every day anyway.

I also think that you should sign up for training classes; not only will his behaviour improve, but he will then see you as the Alpha male in his particular pack and not someone to try to run away from.
 
#18
soleil said:
Given that he is only little, why don't you leave him inside the house if you have to go out? Why put him in the garden?

He should have a nice comfortable basket with a favourite blanket and some toys; you could even leave the TV on for him, he might like that.

Obviously some newspaper and a bowl of water and some favourite food.

Take him for a long, long walk before you have to go out and then he will settle down in his basket quietly. He should really be getting an hour of walks every day anyway.

I also think that you should sign up for training classes; not only will his behaviour improve, but he will then see you as the Alpha male in his particular pack and not someone to try to run away from.
Crikey can I be your dog Sol
 
#19
bigglesbandicoot said:
soleil said:
Given that he is only little, why don't you leave him inside the house if you have to go out? Why put him in the garden?

He should have a nice comfortable basket with a favourite blanket and some toys; you could even leave the TV on for him, he might like that.

Obviously some newspaper and a bowl of water and some favourite food.

Take him for a long, long walk before you have to go out and then he will settle down in his basket quietly. He should really be getting an hour of walks every day anyway.

I also think that you should sign up for training classes; not only will his behaviour improve, but he will then see you as the Alpha male in his particular pack and not someone to try to run away from.
Crikey can I be your dog Sol
You have to be able to read a paper first
 
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