My Cake and Arse Party

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by jesse, Mar 30, 2010.

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  1. 8) Do you hear there? The following are invited to attend my Cake and Arse Party. :reindeer: :joker: Blue Badge Jenny,Old Jenny,Jerry Hatrick, 2Badge Mango,Seafarer 1939 and the quest of Honour Granny. 8) Requests will be considered from ratings with a date of birth from 1942 upwards. :? There will be shed loads[I've got two sheds by the way] of Sanatogen Tonc Wine,Phyllosan, and Hormone replacement tablets also Viagra. 8O Entertainment will be loops of taped 50s music featuring lita Rosa Dennis Lotus, Johnny Ray and Frankie Lane ;- also snippets of radio programmes like The Billy Cotton Band show, Educating Archie, plus highlights of Two Way family Favourites. Rumrat is too young so he can be the barman' :cry: Strling the waiter and Stan the man car/zimmer frame park attendant :eek: You will be lashed up for your services lads with all the tonic wine you can handle. :evil: Sounds o.k. R.S.V.P. Jesse
  2. I am a filthy, disgusting, perverted sort of a servant around food and drink, and it pains me to say cannot be trusted.
    I have on many occasions pulled senior rates cutlery through my crutch gap after a night of pash piercing. As a mess man, I would make a perfect sewage treatment operator.
    However I would make an ideal form of entertainment.
    My rendition of "This old hat of mine" and the "Dance of the flaming arsholes being second to none. My ring is famous from Penang to Pershore, and has in fact incensed many to turn to the dark side, and become alternative gardeners.
    It is in this capacity I feel I could be of better service.
    If however you cannot use me in this capacity I will of course take the offered position. I would of course accept no responsibility for any strange or obnoxious smells/odours emanating from the food or beverages.
  3. I'll be coming as long as you get some Buddy Holly on your music tapes.Plus a few bottles of Mackeson and Double Diamond for the Stout and Beer drinkers.Oh, and a couple of quarts of Woodpecker Cider to get the girls frisky.
  4. Born 48 years too late :( Was looking forward to the cake an' all ;)
  5. Can I come. I'll bring me Watneys Party 7 !!
  6. I have plenty of tonic wine to fetch...
  7. 8) Consider it done; also Buddy Holly and Bill Haley plus Tennessee Ernie Ford added to the music . :p
  8. Will the girls be wearing petticoats, stockings and suspenders?
    If so, can I come please? :)
  9. Has to be petticoats and bobby socks
  10. No Brown hatters in those far off days of National Service etc they were all in the closet....or something..... :D
  11. :twisted: Yes you can come and all female guests will wear stockings, suspenders, push up half cup bras, THE STOCKINGS WILL ALSO HAVE SEEMS AND LACY TOPS :wink: Rumrat is welcome to combine his bar tending with his cabaret act. :joker: Thinking about Granny :!: I haven't seen any posts from him of late; is the old chap o.k. :?: Pug 83 can come if he does a turn at sing sing or show us your ring :p
  12. :p Brown Hatters and Comic Singers are welcome as long as they are rich. :wink:
  13. Do you think that Sugar and Ronnie (from Gib) will make it or have they both snuffed it now? :p
  14. :cry: I think so but not 100% sure there was also Bobby from Malta who was also quite a competent knuckle bosun :boxing:
  15. Consider it seen. i never could sing :wink:
  16. In my day if you had two suits you were beef..... :D
  17. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    You're not going for the cake, are you? :wink:
  18. Will there be plenty of navy cake there??
  19. Yes look it's just under this table heeeeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeee, ouch. :cry: :oops: 8O

  20. You don't have two suits do you.....Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst :lol:

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