My applications in to join up..Help plees....

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by UncleAlbert, Aug 12, 2010.

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  1. Hello all, Ill start by introducing myself....

    My name is Albert Hall, im ** years old and live in Peel Common near Collingwood. England.

    Im a practising observing Mixed Martial Piss Artist with a less than stellar record of 0-7 in the cage (a work in progress haha) and to date have achieved a pink belt in origami and a yellow belt in running….

    It was decided a while ago that its about time I did something with my life as I dont really have any commitments and dont really have alot going for me at this stage… perhaps she is right ….So after a long hard think about things Ive decided to apply to join the Royal Navy Asso.

    I went to my local recruitment office (Gosport RNA.) to have a chat with the guys down there at the bar and after drinking about a gallon of beer we all decided I should join the R.N.Submariners Association ….last nite I took the plunge and with my heart in my mouth I forwarded my application to Join…
    I hope you guys can help me with a few questions and I apologise if im posting in the wrong section of the forum, mods please feel free to delete this if necessary.

    1) Ive done a bit of research and gathered that the waiting time for what ive applied for is roughly 2 weeks till the first Thursday of the next month. What does this mean? 2 weeks til what exactly?

    2) Regards to the guzzle test, I can imagine that the pass grade must be pretty high for a submariner? If I dont meet the criteria, will I be offered something more suited to me in the RNA…or is that the end of the line for another month?

    3) Im a fairly fit guy due to the very demanding training I do in order to fight and compete in my sport. I can do a fair amount of sit ups for long periods and can land, unhook, weigh and return to the water in the expected time no problem. But I do however think I may have a problem with my BMI as Im 6' and 320lbs. Im no Adonnis but I carry little fat. Could this be an issue ??

    Massive apologie for the rant but im excited and hope you can all help me with the questions.

    Albert Hall….

    * MoD Edit
  2. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    My guess is you may be over-qualified. :wink:
  3. ffs mucker I hope you're not taking the piss out of a newbie some have never been heard of again for saying less . :D :D :D
  4. I didn't know he was ex Army 8)
  5. Uncle Albert may be lucky. It may not get noticed it`s not like it`s on CA
    is it :twisted:
  6. Well you see Albert one of the biggest problems facing you is the piss period test.
    As you may not know is the RNA tend to do a lot of charabanc trips to visit other anaesthetised and spaced out buggers in surrounding areas. To enable them to do this, all new entrants would be expected to be able to avoid pissing for considerable periods of time. The level expected varies from recruitment area to area, but research has thus far proven that in extreme circumstances, some coaches have been able to travel at least four miles between stops. This was of course based on the fact that it was indeed travelling at 80 mph, but never the less attainable.
    Other little known factors are the ability to "Bullshit". If you are unable to place yourself firmly in the center of any outrageous dit as the first person singular, then you may experience difficulty in obtaining membership.
    I have as yet been unable to convince my local branch that I attained anything higher than sea cadet status, despite having served with two of the members. I did have carnal knowledge of the treasurers sister in 1969, but at his present age you would have thought he would not even remember.
    Best of luck Thursday and don't get "Black balled" it is so terribly painful.
  7. I would appreciate an update on your application to join the RNA.
    Personally I am still subject to investigation as my claims to have made Leading hand whilst in the sea cadet corps have now been questioned.
    I admit I might have exaggerated my time by a couple of weeks, but why is it so unreasonable to believe I was 33 when I left, as I was a late developer and did not qualify on height until my 28th birthday.
    I am not a Walt and can prove I am entitled to the general service medal with the bar for "south end".
    And despite what they say in Woolworth's, I did not buy my LSGC medal on eBay.
    My rank of rear admiral was I admit acting, and I reverted to ordinary seaman as soon as the vacancy had been filled.
    Winston Horatio Mandella Smith Esq. RN. CR. ABS.
  8. I've been to a few bars in Southend.Does that qualify me?
  9. You're more likely to have been barred a few times in Southend.
    Since my post this morning I have been "outed" and I do now openly admit I only served three months in the cadets as I get seasick.

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