My 1st submarine.

Discussion in 'Submariners' started by BillyNoMates, May 14, 2009.

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  1. My first thirty minutes:

    1974 Devonport Dockyard. Reported onboard with kitbag, suitcase,
    pussers grip and then told everyone lived inboard. The Duty L/H
    was pissed out of his tree (LRO). Went down the ladder and into
    J/R's grot. Sitting at the back of the mess was another new submariner
    who was being force fed sarnies - spread with Colemans full strength
    mustard. The duty driver (AB from Hull - also completely bladdered),
    told me to get my stuff in the boats transport and he drove like a
    bi-polar-pissed boy racer back into HMS DRAKE and hurled me out
    next to the inboard accommodation.

    Welcome to boats.

    Any other recollections?
  2. Joined my first boat as a part 3 pig and within hours was off perisher running, that was quite an introduction in it's own way though perhaps not quite the same as BNM
  3. My first submarine came out of a corn flakes packet sometime in the in the fifties, you put baking soda into it, dropped it in the bath and watched it go. Imagine my surprise in 1969 when I got a letter from CND* saying got to Gosport, do not pass go, report to reg office for submarine quota. No baking soda to be seen anywhere in Alecto Colonade.

    * Commodore Naval Drafting, not Bertrand Russell and Canon Collins anti-nuke group.
  4. Joined SM1 Spare Crew and asked if I could work on Finbin rather than get sent to the main house (I was a Ck). Was on the Bin for about 2-months doing a BSQ before getting Opossum as Messman to do my Part 3. Joined her in Faslav for Perisher.
  5. Joined Repulse as Part III just prior to her going on patrol - remember going down the main access hatch onto 1 deck, thought I was a right Jack Shit, been on leave for prevous two weeks, so had hair longer than it should (as I thought all submariners had a right to, even though I wasn't one yet). Half way down ladder into passageway when I hear this shout "Who the fcuk are you" and "why the flying Fcuk is your hair so long" sees this big fkcr striding towards me, went into a panic - "er, I'm LRO xxxxx Master, joining the boat for Part III training", He went apeshit "Master, Fckn Master you moron, do I look like a fkcn halfwit - I'm a Fkcn Coxswain and dont you ever forget it" Get your F'n hair cut and report to me by 16.00 - start of a happy relationship between me and that bloke... :)
  6. Pierhead jump on 19th December for Christmas Patrol

    Called into the DO 's office just after midday you are joining Revenge tommorrow morning .
    Boat is under sailing orders so do not leave the Port Area.

    Was living in a hotel cos no accomodation in Faslane --had a new car and most of my kit was at home ---------in Fife!!

    Anyway its the quickest shift I ever did --book out of hotel home pack kit
    then organise the father in law to bring me back to Coulport next morning
    Gave Wife the cheque book for the Christmas expenses and said see you when I see you

    Stayed on that boat for three and a half years --great life and good crew.

  7. Mine was a little plastic bastard that floated in the bath. It used to fall over on its side a lot. I later found that the big ones sometimes did that as well... :?
  8. I met my first submarine in the late 1960s. My only submarine came in a cornflakes packet too. It was sooooooo exciting :excited:

    It was sleek and grey, probably an O Class boat (HMS Ohmygod) and was specifically aimed at highly impressionable young boys. I bit. How I looked forward, for once, to bathtime. No more playing elephants with my sister in the bath (don't ask :lol: ) for now I was a baby submariner :razz: in the warm bath water I sat and inserted the clear plastic tube into the snorkel and either blew or sucked. It sank. Then I did the opposite and it rose between my legs.

    I was also lucky enough to be taken very briefly beneath the oggin sometime in the late 1970s or very early 1980s before Haslar certified me only fit for skimmers :sad2: to my eternal regret I jumped out the pram and decided that I was going to be a submariner or nothing. I became nothing :twisted:
  9. My first submarine was a toy but being exremely rich daddy got me a radio control one with real mini crew. Played with it in the olympic sized swimming pool at the country estate for hours.Used to put the servants in a small both and torpedo them.Such fun.

    Then I joined Dolphin,went on the Onslaught and my world was complete.

    Lord Rod Gearing of England(less expenses)

    I also own an extremely large black cat

  10. My daddy is the 1st Sea Lord and I like to leak nuclear waste out of mine!

    My cats, bigger, blacker and harder.
  11. Dear Lord Gearing of Rod

    I trust you have submitted your receipts for your collections of boats (the SoS for Defence has just informed me that you now own the Submarine Service) and I will be posting your cheque for £37M for this month's upkeep shortly. Please thank the matelots for all the good work and tell them they'll get a pay rise once we've recoupled all the money from the Justice Minister.... I mean ex-Justice Minister!

    Yours ever

    Naval Fees Office
  12. The only expenses I have incurred are for ligit payments to for Malayan
    houseboy Bing Bong Dong.(£158000 pa).

    As to the matelots,have them washed and sent to my tent.

    My very large black cat has just had even bigger black cat kittens.

    The ex Justice Minister is a close and personal firend of mind and has been sorely wronged,it wasnt his mistake but the people who kept throwing money at him.

    Outraged of Staffordshire (Actually in the Bahamas at the mo)
  13. Due to the fact that you are leaking nucular waste I have passed your details on to Greenpeace.

    Your black cats only harder cause its dead! :lol:
  14. Yeah well my cats a right pussy, but he is bald as I made him a skin head.

    I love shaved pussy 8O :D
  15. Moderator Mode

    Perhaps we are getting to a time to move this thread to Lil's. A shaved Pussy is little to do with "My first Boat"

    Any views?

  16. All I can say is well.......... sorry but we did live in a boat, and it was my first. 8O :D
  17. I also lived on a boat, narrow, canal, for the use on. For eight years but still little to do with my first submarines other than it was made of steel and smelt of red diesel.

  18. Thread Morphing seems to be pretty usual on here these days.

    Move it to The Gash Barge....I give up.
  19. back on track then, first boat was Superb for Pt 3 training. Although trained as a back aftie got put as upper deck trot and bridge lookout. Didn't have a scooby as to what I was supposed to be doing bt a least I could have a fag when I wanted.
  20. It's interesting that so many G Spotters seem to have chosen boats. Was this because you were utterly fed up with the bull?

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