Most ridiculous thing anyone's ever said to you?

#61
aussiepint said:
snapdragon said:
I have loads. But I had one today that will stick in my mind. An Indian asked if I was a foreigner. What the...? No jokes about my accent, nutty_bag.
Accent WW? The Village is a scary place to live!!! Try saying honey when suppose to come out with flower!! When in fact want to come out and say mate??
Aussiepint... I'm really sorry, not to be horrid, but I couldn't understand a word of that. Or, er, any of your other posts! Sorry! :oops:
 

flynavy

Lantern Swinger
#62
During an open day onboard on the flight deck stood next to a harrier with bombs all around it, Bloke comes up, points to a 1000lb bomb (sign on it saying 1000lb) and asks " how much does that weigh?"
 
#63
this happened when i got to the security gatehouse at work, whilst wearin mywork uniform.

security bloke: excuse mate do you work here?

me: why no i just nicked the uniform and wanted a laugh.

but the worst thing is what he said afterwards

security bloke: oh ok carry on though car park for employees is on your left, doors in front of you have a good shift.
 
#64
"D'ya hear there, coxswain speaking, before I pipe leave this is a list of bars & clubs you are not allowed to visit on you run ashore" - Oh really :roll:
 
#66
Im standing with a GPMG round my neck, 200rds of link hanging from it. The OOD asks "is that loaded?" Im sure he's taking the piss so I reply, "No sir, I thought the brass bits would make it look punchy though". Instant flash. If he meant "made ready" he should have chuffing well said so.
 
#67
Standing outside a base, with my girlie and her sis, a card carrying dope smoking unemployed student, she points to the gate sentry, A royal, and starts "That gun isn't loaded is it, I bet I could go over there and knock his hat off and he couldn't do a thing about it, what if I grab his gun....."
 
#68
On firefighting course at Phoenix a way's back. In the brief a Chief says: " The new stainless steel AFFF fire extinguishers are not painted and are therefore silver, not red and even you WAFUs will see them on the flight deck". Course berk sticks his hand up: "Chief, won't they rust?"

Twat.
 
#69
greenking said:
On firefighting course at Phoenix a way's back. In the brief a Chief says: " The new stainless steel AFFF fire extinguishers are not painted and are therefore silver, not red and even you WAFUs will see them on the flight deck". Course berk sticks his hand up: "Chief, won't they rust?"

Twat.
I wonder if any stokers/buffers party find the stainless ones somewhat less than shiny after a Biscay transit? (Or rusted in place from 9 months worth of goffers) Do they still put them in little lockers?

Greenking, you could have been all smart like berk boy and said
"WTF is a fire extinguisher doing on my flight deck, Chief. Look up FB-10X and get back to me."
 
#70
Do you have a pool table onboard? My mum after I had beaten my Dad on first day back from from first deployment. Cue (excuse the pun) sarcastic response from father and son, she still thinks that 'of course we do'.
 
#71
1. After 6 months in Mount Pleasant, F.I.

O.C.
Do you want to extend for another 6 ?

CPL
hahah

2. Are you asleep ?

3. You can learn a trade and it will set you up for life.
 
#74
To many to mention,one that spring's to mind, was a famous lady who sung the Bond theme tune, some year's ago she asked for a steak rare, with no blood !!!!
 
#75
kingoftwigs said:
Do you have a pool table onboard? My mum after I had beaten my Dad on first day back from from first deployment. Cue (excuse the pun) sarcastic response from father and son, she still thinks that 'of course we do'.

Believe it or not on my first pussers grey we deployed to Australia for the Bi-centennial celebrations in 88 and guess what we had onboard? You've guessed it a pool table! It was however, adapted for use onboard, no balls just colored disks, not very popular as I recall.
 
#76
snapdragon said:
aussiepint said:
snapdragon said:
I have loads. But I had one today that will stick in my mind. An Indian asked if I was a foreigner. What the...? No jokes about my accent, nutty_bag.
Accent WW? The Village is a scary place to live!!! Try saying honey when suppose to come out with flower!! When in fact want to come out and say mate??
Aussiepint... I'm really sorry, not to be horrid, but I couldn't understand a word of that. Or, er, any of your other posts! Sorry! :oops:
Eh??? ANY of them?? Sorry thought I was typing English :p Now exactly how have I stood on your toes??? Don't apologise if you are having a pop mate, it's not good form.
 
#77
Chat_Noir said:
kingoftwigs said:
Do you have a pool table onboard? My mum after I had beaten my Dad on first day back from from first deployment. Cue (excuse the pun) sarcastic response from father and son, she still thinks that 'of course we do'.

Believe it or not on my first pussers grey we deployed to Australia for the Bi-centennial celebrations in 88 and guess what we had onboard? You've guessed it a pool table! It was however, adapted for use onboard, no balls just colored disks, not very popular as I recall.
You could've got the Chippy to knock you up some cube type balls, :p Improvise, Adapt, Overcome!!
 
#78
moondog said:
Chat_Noir said:
kingoftwigs said:
Do you have a pool table onboard? My mum after I had beaten my Dad on first day back from from first deployment. Cue (excuse the pun) sarcastic response from father and son, she still thinks that 'of course we do'.

Believe it or not on my first pussers grey we deployed to Australia for the Bi-centennial celebrations in 88 and guess what we had onboard? You've guessed it a pool table! It was however, adapted for use onboard, no balls just colored disks, not very popular as I recall.
You could've got the Chippy to knock you up some cube type balls, :p Improvise, Adapt, Overcome!!
Arent the balls covered in Velcro? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#79
During evening rounds the inspecting officer looked at the tap, gave it a shake and then promptly said "Why is there water in this tap?" She didn't twig til she was fined a bottle of port later on in the bar.
 
#80
aussiepint said:
snapdragon said:
aussiepint said:
snapdragon said:
I have loads. But I had one today that will stick in my mind. An Indian asked if I was a foreigner. What the...? No jokes about my accent, nutty_bag.
Accent WW? The Village is a scary place to live!!! Try saying honey when suppose to come out with flower!! When in fact want to come out and say mate??
Aussiepint... I'm really sorry, not to be horrid, but I couldn't understand a word of that. Or, er, any of your other posts! Sorry! :oops:
Eh??? ANY of them?? Sorry thought I was typing English :p Now exactly how have I stood on your toes??? Don't apologise if you are having a pop mate, it's not good form.
I'm not having a pop, I really couldn't understand what you were trying to say.
 

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