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War Hero
Q:What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Q: What is a zebra?
A: 26 sizes larger than A bra.

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka. And what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: Where do you find a no legged dog?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: Where do you get virgin wool from?
A: Ugly sheep.

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.