Lantern Swinger
A couple decide they have to tigten their belts, as they are a bit strapped for cash.
Wife says ' you spend £16 a week on beer, this has to stop!'

A week later the husband says 'i've noticed you're spending £28 a week on make up!'
Wife - 'yes, but thats to make me look, beautiful, sexy and attractive'

Husband - 'Thats what the fcuking beer was for!'