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OK What is the best mitigation/waffle/outright lie that anyone has heard or used when stood infront of the Old Man with our heels together??

The one I heard today was from a young female rating....when asked why she was adrift she replied.....

"I went to get a taxi to get back in time but there was a dodgy looking man stood at the taxi rank so I had to go back into the pub and drink for an hour or so until he had gone" :lol:

Any others ??
A few years ago, one of our Stokers got grippoed by some local ladies, resulting in him missing the Ship sailing. During the subsequent investigation, it transpired that he had become involved in a female-dominant orgy, which was allegedly filmed for posterity.

Fast forward some days, and he has returned on board to face the music. During his Table, after hearing facts of the case for the Prosecution and Defence, the Trying Offcer began his deliberation, and made the fatal mistake of asking the Accused: "So despite being awarded 7 days 9s and 5 days pay, was it really worth it?"

With a straight face he replied: "Absolutely Sir!"


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