Listening to some shite on Jeremy Vine the other day as I was driving down the A39 Atlantic Highway(who the fcuk thought of that name) when I had a sudden flashback to the mid 1970s. Stan had just joined the Cherry B (HMS CHARYBDIS to you sprogs) up to the Cod War couple of runs ashore back in the UK then off to Gib as Guardship for Chrimbo, but home for the New Year. Down the pub a lad at 16 could get a drink in those days especially if your old man drank there occasionally. Couple of wets thinking I was the dogs knob eyeing up the local northern talent still a cherry boy but had some good ideas about what went where and what it smelled like (I'd been to Copenhagen and seen "The devil in Miss Jones") Spotted a rather charming lass bit on the size 14 size but hey ho a couple of rounds with young Stan would help her shed a few pounds I thought. Anyway a couple of snogs for the New Year and a few dates before I had to get back onboard Stan was smitten first love and all that. Any way we saw each other everytime I was home on leave like most cheers easy fcuking idiots I would bring back pressies like perfume, fags, bit of gold plated jewelry either way I thought eventually she'd shed her gladrags and allow Stan to get to 1st base no such fcuking luck. My older brother had just left the pusser and after a couple of weekends home he says Stan you're a cnut (we were close in those days) she's been knobbing every fcuker while you've been away ditch the bitch, reluctantly I did thinking what a waste of my LOA! Anyway fast forward 15 years and I'm up visiting Preston (shithole) and visiting some of my old haunts when I look across the bar when there she is fcuk me 25 stone blubber bitch, but I can't restrain myself from going over for a chat, she can't remember me maybe because she has mad cow disease from the 15 meat pies she's obviously been troughing every day and is now about 25 stone. Anyway I introduce myself and she vaguely remembers me and says "Bet you wish we had stayed together hey" Fcuk my tall hat, I pissed meself and thought thank you, thank you lord, the great escape or what.