Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by fishmiester, Dec 18, 2006.
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It was all too much to lay out properly. Never mind. It was not that funny any how :cry:
I'm feeling the love for our sideways scuttling bretheren!
Reminds me of the three services being told to secure a building.
The Navy did rounds, switched off the lights and air conditoning, locked the doors and windows and returned the keys.
The Army mounted an assault , blew open the doors, entered through the windows and subdued the occupants.
The Air Force took out a two year lease with an option to buy.
Jack, Tommy and (insert Generic RAF title here) were standing beside a swamp and needed to cross it.
Jack thought "bollocks to this" and used the bridge.
Tommy thought "swamp - lovely!" and proceeded to roll through the swamp.
RAF lad thought "bollocks to this" and put himself up in a 5* hotel and waited for air support.
In an attempt to keep with what I believe was to be the spirit of Fishmeisters' post, some military euphemisms:
SAID: "Men, we have a mission here worthy of the United States Marine!"
MEANS: "I'm about to get you all killed."
SAID: "US warplanes bombed unidentified targets."
MEANS: "We have no idea what we hit."
SAID: "Blaze 550, request vectors inbound for tanker rendevouz."
MEANS: "Help. I'm lost and out of gas."
SAID: "Sgt, I have to see the C.O., so please bring the men up to speed on the current load plan changes."
MEANS: "They're gonna hate this sh*t, so I'm outta here! You tell 'em."
SAID: "With respect for CPO Cadavers' lifelong commitment to Naval service, we have elected to inter him at sea."
MEANS: "We don't want to haul his frozen corpse around for the next six months, so we're going to pitch his dead ass into the wake."
Most annoying and patronising military phrase category "I hear what you're saying, but ...."
Speaks for itself really.
"Use your initiative, You know what initiative is don't you?"
Yeh fcking right I do! If it goes right you get a pat on the back, if it goes wrong, I'm in the shit and you didn't know anything about it. :wink:
Ever been there?
Inititive? - thought you must be about to discuss a titf**k!
Yeah. Usually when the Crane Drivers were unavailable/on strike/on blob/whatever and that big hunk of heavy Gas Bottle/Braby Calorifier etc needed to be down the engine room hatch ASAP. :roll:
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