Military Language Conversion Chart

#3
Reminds me of the three services being told to secure a building.

The Navy did rounds, switched off the lights and air conditoning, locked the doors and windows and returned the keys.

The Army mounted an assault , blew open the doors, entered through the windows and subdued the occupants.

The Air Force took out a two year lease with an option to buy.
 
A

angrydoc

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#4
Jack, Tommy and (insert Generic RAF title here) were standing beside a swamp and needed to cross it.

Jack thought "bollocks to this" and used the bridge.

Tommy thought "swamp - lovely!" and proceeded to roll through the swamp.

RAF lad thought "bollocks to this" and put himself up in a 5* hotel and waited for air support.
 
#5
In an attempt to keep with what I believe was to be the spirit of Fishmeisters' post, some military euphemisms:

SAID: "Men, we have a mission here worthy of the United States Marine!"
MEANS: "I'm about to get you all killed."

SAID: "US warplanes bombed unidentified targets."
MEANS: "We have no idea what we hit."

SAID: "Blaze 550, request vectors inbound for tanker rendevouz."
MEANS: "Help. I'm lost and out of gas."

SAID: "Sgt, I have to see the C.O., so please bring the men up to speed on the current load plan changes."
MEANS: "They're gonna hate this sh*t, so I'm outta here! You tell 'em."

SAID: "With respect for CPO Cadavers' lifelong commitment to Naval service, we have elected to inter him at sea."
MEANS: "We don't want to haul his frozen corpse around for the next six months, so we're going to pitch his dead ass into the wake."
 
#7
"Use your initiative, You know what initiative is don't you?"
Yeh fcking right I do! If it goes right you get a pat on the back, if it goes wrong, I'm in the shit and you didn't know anything about it. :wink:
Ever been there?
RoofRat
 
#9
RoofRat said:
"Use your initiative, You know what initiative is don't you?"
Yeh fcking right I do! If it goes right you get a pat on the back, if it goes wrong, I'm in the shit and you didn't know anything about it. :wink:
Ever been there?
RoofRat
Yeah. Usually when the Crane Drivers were unavailable/on strike/on blob/whatever and that big hunk of heavy Gas Bottle/Braby Calorifier etc needed to be down the engine room hatch ASAP. :roll:
 
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