mid-life crisis

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Haggis_Catcher, Jan 5, 2010.

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  1. mrs haggis catcher is in a mood over my new motor by saying its not family friendly (we don't have any kids ffs and don't plant to for many a year.) so now by buying a half flash car at the age of 22 im having a mid-life crisis and then by having a flash car i now have a small dick? well she never complained before about it anyone else had this problem from the so called better half. :evil:
  2. I think she needs 'correcting'. Introduce her Mr Backhand and the Knuckle brothers
  3. i think she is more jealous than anything as she has a old corsa.
  4. What the f*ck has it got to do with her. Unless you park it in the kitchen or the bedroom the silly cow should never see it. As for the small dick ?
    Running her [email protected] through a singer sowing machine (negative anesthetic), should sort out that particular problem.

    Now man up haggis and take charge of your affairs.
  5. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Maybe she's worried your about to trade her in.
  6. She didn't drip about mine either.

    Just dripped all over the back seat instead.
  7. must be a shite car then :wink:
  8. Your missus is right your car is sh1t, I can't get it to move since I hit the fcukin tree. :oops: :roll: 8O
  9. my car is a fine piece of engineering :wink:
  10. tell her to do one what car by the way?
  11. Yes, your cock is small. But your wheels are blingin. If she doesn't want to be violated on the passenger seat, someone will. Console yourself with a nice bottle of Zymol and 5 litres of Mobil 1.
  12. My advice is, take her out for a spin in the new wagon, do a few handbrake turns, (this icy weather is perfect for such things) take her for a McDonalds drive through and then she will basically love you forever for being so manly. If you can burn off a few people at the lights as well it will help things no end.
  13. I would tie her to the drive naked then drive it back and forth over her and shout very loudly out of the windscreen "do you like my peNis extension now bitch and finish it off with a wheelspin on her napper.
    She wont complain again.
  14. love the idea i might be picking her up from her mothers later if she decides to speak again so its of to morrisons car park revving the arse of the car on the way and using the dump valves to full effect and do a few high speed turns in the ice and then if she is lucky i might stretch to buy her a happy meal. ohh the good old days of being 17 again seemed to have returned. :eek:

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