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Microsoft's NEW Port'oles for Matelots

Well it's finally about to be issued all all and sundry... yes it's Microsoft's new, matelot friendly version of Windows 2000, complete with all the glitches, bugs and all those little features that make you want to sling your PC out of the office window on the heads of unsuspecting tourists below...

It's here... PORT'OLES FOR MATELOTS

The software has been craftily modified courtesy of your very own Pusser Engineers (PC Tiffies) so that it makes sense.....

The Trash Can has been replaced by the Gash Bin

The Help Button has been ditched in favour of the Ask Chiefy! button

Pull Down Menus are now called Pull Down Hatches

The Diary in Outlook has been redesignated the online Pussers Organiser RN

Outlook has been renamed Semaphore

Excel is now called Dusty's Delight

PowerPoint is now Pinky's Projector

Word has become Scribe's Pad (it was originally ******* Wad... but the 1SL objected...)

And the deadly blue screen of death has been retitled The Jossman's Imagination.


The PC Tiffies would like to invite members of RR to suggest additional alterations to make the software Matelot Compatible.
 
Windows Messenger = Porthole Flag Wagger

Run Command = "DOUBLE"

Microsoft Works - Computers Not Fckued for a Change !

Internet Explorer = Porn Finder :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
 
And the SHIFT key is now the Watch key.

Left and Right SHIFT keys are now renamed Port & Starboard Watch keys.
 
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