Microsoft's NEW Port'oles for Matelots

Discussion in 'The Quarterdeck' started by Always_a_Civvy, Mar 1, 2007.

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  1. Well it's finally about to be issued all all and sundry... yes it's Microsoft's new, matelot friendly version of Windows 2000, complete with all the glitches, bugs and all those little features that make you want to sling your PC out of the office window on the heads of unsuspecting tourists below...


    The software has been craftily modified courtesy of your very own Pusser Engineers (PC Tiffies) so that it makes sense.....

    The Trash Can has been replaced by the Gash Bin

    The Help Button has been ditched in favour of the Ask Chiefy! button

    Pull Down Menus are now called Pull Down Hatches

    The Diary in Outlook has been redesignated the online Pussers Organiser RN

    Outlook has been renamed Semaphore

    Excel is now called Dusty's Delight

    PowerPoint is now Pinky's Projector

    Word has become Scribe's Pad (it was originally ******* Wad... but the 1SL objected...)

    And the deadly blue screen of death has been retitled The Jossman's Imagination.

    The PC Tiffies would like to invite members of RR to suggest additional alterations to make the software Matelot Compatible.
  2. Windows Messenger = Porthole Flag Wagger

    Run Command = "DOUBLE"

    Microsoft Works - Computers Not Fckued for a Change !

    Internet Explorer = Porn Finder :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
  3. Caps Lock: Off caps & On caps
  4. Insert - "ready willing and sometimes able"
  5. Back space was illegal in my day
  6. F7 was a frigate squadron
  7. And the SHIFT key is now the Watch key.

    Left and Right SHIFT keys are now renamed Port & Starboard Watch keys.

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