Mess Deck Souveneirs?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Smiffy_the_Shipwreck, Apr 11, 2007.

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  1. Come on then,
    All messes seem to "accumulate" souveneirs of runs ashore over the years, whats the best thing you have "aquired" on a run ashore? (And I dont mean a dose!) :?

    To start you all off, hows about an inflatable dummy Rapier missile battery from San Carlos (traded for cooking oil, a large bag of spuds and soft bog paper),
    and a gravestone from Portland (apparently it was just laying by the roadside) :roll: both aquired by the PO's mess on Nottingham.
  2. Hmm... Ships bell, USS Oldendorf, gangway sidescreen USS Florida and the one that got away, the dragon insignia from the funnel of a Hong Kong based minesweeper... got it as far as the casing but it was too big to fit down the hatch. The troops were planning to lift off the engine room hatch to fit it down when the Redcaps swooped.
  3. The stockings suspenders and panties (all in green) from one of the guests at a wardroom cocktail party :lol:
  4. Did the skipper used to run his train set around them then????????
  5. i do elieve that several years ago that 899 squadron had dambusters niggers gravestone in the junior rates crewroom.
  6. Before joining the senior service, I was in the army, during my 2 year stint in Northern Ireland, we had a competition to see who could steal the biggest pair of knickers from a washing line whilst on patrol. Needless to say 6x9 and 12x12 tents were no longer needed in my regiment.
  7. No this was in Nottys pre Hornby age :D
  8. Mess run ashore from the Hermes to R.A.F.Sopley near Christchurch to meet the WAFS.Raised the jolly roger on the mast,pinched their flag and station bell.Of course they contacted the ship for the return of RAF property and all of us ended up in the sh*t. :oops:
  9. An empty 'crab' fire extinguisher after the boys were hosed down doing 'Zulu Warrior' on bar stools in the JR mess at Akritori. We totally wrecked the place too, much to the distain of the crabs who out-numbered us by at least 6 to 1!!
  10. One RAN Leading Seaman from HMAS/m Onslow who wandered on board Opportune and got his head down in his bunk in the fwd mess. Just that he was on the wrong boat. Well they all look the same inside and out.

    It was two days before the Dinks paid the ransom of two crates of beer.

  11. Some years ago, whilst serving in HM diesel submarines, we were on a visit to Dartmouth Naval College, (is it called BRNC?, been a long time, can't remember), we were inflicted with a gobshite CPO liaison officer who was the biggest black cat merchant you could ever meet. His biggest boast was that he was entitled to a blue flashing light on his personal issue Land Rover (WTF?). Anyway, you guessed it, we nicked it!
  12. Old Bill

    What the whole Land Rover (how did you get it down the forehatch) or just the blue lamp?

    Is this a 'Ands up to TWOC (i have been corrected) or Theft, best we send for CIB2 or who ever.

  13. Mention of BRNC brings back assorted memories. During my SLts year the Commander had a pussers Mini Moke for getting round the place. After one mess dinner one group ofover entusiastic ykoung officers brought said vehicle into the Gunrom Annex (Bar) The Commander was mildly ammused, let the uproar die down a bit and told the young officers to put it back which being good you officers they started to do. This was going quite well until another group decided they wanted to play with the vehicle, there then ensued a 15 minute fire hose battle on the ramps outside the bar with the car in the middle, eventually the Commander had the battle stopped. The next day the garage took almost all day getting the car dried out and running again, and the Commander was in a foul mood for days after.
  14. :lol: :lol: PMSL Nutty. Should have been more specific, it was the blue light. A Land Rover on the casing would have been a bit of a giveaway!

    Anyway, it's now statute barred.
  15. The Dabber mess on the Invince in 93 got a dog onboard and it shat round two deck- now that was funny!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  16. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    HMS Southampton (icw carrier) in 01; stand-off in Mombers. PWO(A) buys 8ft woody of a giraffe for his missus. Somehow the lads on the carrier managed to get on board, go into his cabin, take the giraffe back on the flat top, holding it to ransom.

    PWO(A) was livid - stomping around the Soton to look for it, making threats to everyone, who of course "knew nothing about it". Sailed a few days later, the PWO starts receiving phots of his giraffe, blindfolded, with a copy of Daily Orders, and a ransom demand note. He refused on principle (and obviously the carrier was several miles away; try explaining to Flt Cdr who he was doing a VIPTAX for an 8ft wooden giraffe)! The longer he left it, the higher the ransom demand increased, but he resigned himself to what was happening and eventually saw the funny side...

    ...until they started sending bits of wood in the post! :x

    [The thing is, he didn't reealise that the wood was not from his carving; it was still intact - as he found out when it was returned to him a few months later when the ship returned to Pompey!]

  17. Albion in Far East 64/66 - had a NA called Dixie who had a pet Monkey in the mess, cried like a baby when told to get shot of it.
  18. Cherry B, circa 1978 in Le Harve. One of the AB gunners brought an actual rabbit back and then turned up at next mornings 'both watches' with said rabbit who was wearing a beret. (Did not want to get done for not wearing headgear alongside) :)

    Jimmy got him to take it ashore once all were fallen out. God knows where the flipping thing ended up?
  19. A bit vague memory of stealing a stuffed fox from a display cabinet in Alexandria when serving on Cardiff.
    After being persued through a maze of corridooors in the (crime scene)hotel managed to get it back to the mess.
    LHOM not too happy at this gizzet as it was crawling with fleas.
    Gash bagged and in the jetty skip.
  20. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    Newfoundland's gunroom 1956 - large brass gong from outside a Singapore police station (big mystery in the Straits Times), a national sign from someone's consulate in Penang, and (but meanies made us return it) Modeste's Battle Honours Board. We also had a fine collection of car flags and pendants (some autographed) until unfair people from the Newcastle came onboard and stole them whole we were all on FO2FEF's Divisions.

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