Mental Health Questions...

Evening everyone,

After wanting to ask people for help for a good few months, I have finally decided to see what people will say.

So, a little background - I joined the Navy last October and am currently in Phase 2 training. I am past my PVR date. I have just finished at HMS Sultan, where I was based for 6 months. Ever since completing Raleigh, I have found myself becoming incredibly down and anxious about being in the Navy. This is, in part, due to my sexuality - Around half way through Sultan, I came out to my family and a couple of close friends. I have struggled with this massively, as I constantly here other lads taking the piss out of gay people. It makes me really sad as I know if these people knew, they'd treat me completely differently - It also makes me wonder how the hell I'm gonna cope in future deployments. I cannot be myself in the Navy, and it constantly feels like I'm hiding.

In addition to this, I'm really struggling with the Navy way of life too. The constant rounds, kit musters and duties are really starting to get to me and stress me out. I was so so close to PVR'ing at Sultan, but got talked out of it. I really wish I did just leave to be honest. I am also not very good at 'Navy' sports, so during our rec sports (Which I loathe) I always get laughed at or do something stupid, which just makes the 'down' feelings and my anxiety even worse.

I haven't really told my family anything yet since I'm afraid they'll be disappointed and ashamed in me.

I just really really dislike being in the Navy and everyone keeps saying 'it'll get better' but it really hasn't and I'm not sure if my feelings are going to change.

I am past the date of PVR so I really need some help and advice on what to do.

Thank you in advance.
 

Polto

War Hero
Take no notice of Alfacharlie...he is clearly a dick of biblical proportions and a spunk trumpet to boot.

You've been through some tough times, and doubtless you've got tough times ahead. Consider what you have achieved so far, and how much more you could achieve with the help of the RN. Not everyone is a homophobe but I'll admit they are still out there...including in civvy street. With training eventually out of the way the endless rounds will begin to reduce and the focus of the rounds will change. They will become less of a challenge as it all just fades into part of the normal pattern of life. Not everyone can be good at sport and again once training is out of the way, you can choose your own phys. The world really does become your oyster. Your DO is one that you should confide in. He/she should be able to offer advice and guidance and should have your interests at heart. The RN has invested a lot of money and time in you just as you have given of your own time and hard work. If you're not able to that, consider speaking to the bish - he/she will be able to help you find focus and help through their own extensive network. Life is there for the taking and it will get easier once training is complete. Don't let the Alfacharlie's of this world make up your mind for you, or dictate to you.

Think long and hard before making a decision...is it really greener on the other side of the main gate?

Good luck.
 

Alfacharlie

War Hero
Take no notice of Alfacharlie...he is clearly a dick of biblical proportions and a spunk trumpet to boot.

You've been through some tough times, and doubtless you've got tough times ahead. Consider what you have achieved so far, and how much more you could achieve with the help of the RN. Not everyone is a homophobe but I'll admit they are still out there...including in civvy street. With training eventually out of the way the endless rounds will begin to reduce and the focus of the rounds will change. They will become less of a challenge as it all just fades into part of the normal pattern of life. Not everyone can be good at sport and again once training is out of the way, you can choose your own phys. The world really does become your oyster. Your DO is one that you should confide in. He/she should be able to offer advice and guidance and should have your interests at heart. The RN has invested a lot of money and time in you just as you have given of your own time and hard work. If you're not able to that, consider speaking to the bish - he/she will be able to help you find focus and help through their own extensive network. Life is there for the taking and it will get easier once training is complete. Don't let the Alfacharlie's of this world make up your mind for you, or dictate to you.

Think long and hard before making a decision...is it really greener on the other side of the main gate?

Good luck.
Nice one. Thought I’d pretty much said “speak to your D.O”. But, must be rag time for you.
 

Polto

War Hero
AlfaCharlie - wankstains like you don't scare me. I have a suicidal autistic teenage daughter that I cope with perfectly well. Get back on your dildo and seek out some help for your own attitude. Goodbye.
 

Sumo

War Hero
@ANON131298

Anon you did not make it clear male or female, doesn’t really matter.

Only you will know at what age you knew your sexual preference, then you chose to hide that for how long?

Along the way you chose to join the Navy, big step big life change, during this life changing experience you chose to come out, as you say, ask your family how many already knew? Mother / Sister probably knew. When my Nephew came out we said we know about time?

As stated above the Navy lark will become easier once clear of initial training.

The Bish & your DO are good points of contact.

https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/news-and-latest-activity/news/2019/january/21/190121-rn-rm-top-lgbt-employer

Take a read of this, the grass most certainly is not greener on the other side, you are on a roller coaster of emotions at this time, speak to people before making a decision to leave you may regret.

A friend of the family has been openly gay for most of her 16 years’ service, she is a Sargent Crab, she has had many issue, and you have called it mental health, which the service have supported her through.
Good luck.
 
Last edited:

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Just bite the bullet and tell everyone. Not sure why you've kept it a secret anyway. People will accept you. They'll surprise you I'm sure, after all you haven't changed as a person.best be up front with people. They are more likely to be pissed off if they think you've been lying to them.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Just bite the bullet and tell everyone. Not sure why you've kept it a secret anyway. People will accept you. They'll surprise you I'm sure, after all you haven't changed as a person.best be up front with people. They are more likely to be pissed off if they think you've been lying to them.
Same as with my Nephew, people may have already sussed it out
 

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