Memories of the Grocer

Discussion in 'Submariners' started by skyvet, Sep 23, 2007.

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  1. A possibility for an amusing thread? What are you memories of the Grocer (Cox'n) on your boat? And what was your Grocers nickname ?

    On Cachalot, out in SM7 in Singers, our Grocer was nicknamed "Carrots" because of his penchant for having them on the menu at every opportunity. One day, the fresh stores lighter came alongside, filled with loads of goodies like spuds, cabbage and fruit, but not a hint of a carrot anywhere. We stripped the lighter to its deckboards, and still no sign of the grocers favourite veggie. Just as we were about to secure and go for a wet, he appeared on the casing, and said "right lads, let's have the deckboards up" and lo and behold, the entire under-deck area of the lighter was crammed with sacks of carrots!
    On a seperate note, we once had an extended patrol, and ran out of beans, spaghetti and arrigonis, so for breakfast, the chef (on orders from the Grocer) seved up egg, bacon and (yes you've guessed it) carrots! Apparantly, QR's and AI's stated that a vegetable had to be offered for brekkie - well, at least it gave it some colour! Happy days!
  2. The most memorable ' grocer ' during my time was one Grocer Greer . Well known throughout boats in the '50s Grocer suffered with ulcers I believe but whatever it was the poor fellow , prior to the cox'n's traditional morning watch first visited the ' heads ' and mustered his bag before taking over the watch . Very rare fried or baked food on his boats but a good submariner nevertheless .

  3. Legless Lawless a much loved Grocer on the Otus, unfortunately he believed that Curry was a cure all and on a trip round South America with Narwhal they had steak salads and we had the ever favourite curry. I leave it to the imagination as to the reason for his nickname.
  4. Two spring to mind, had both of them on Opossum: Joe S used to get Hands turned to with a rhyme "Yad-a-dab-a-doo Hands Turn to" etc etc and the other was as mad as a fish and had the Soviet version of QRRN in his office! Anyone one I work with thought battered arries was a good breakfast!
  5. Black Smudge Coxn Smith!!! or the Aytolla Our grocer on the Otter.
    Our baby chef Scouse Hughes nicknamed him The Aytolla an apt name which stuck.
    George 'Love is in the air' Lanfer Grocer on FinBin what a star, nicest bloke you could ever meet.
    Him and Dennis Mason our OA got pissed in Dartmouth (whats new!!) and got thrown out of the hotel they were staying in and barred for singing!!!! No sense of humour some people.
    Black Angus on Repulse - no comment. What I think of this bloke is best left unsaid
  6. Mad Dog, many boats, nuf said. The man is a legend and is now MBE. The mob will be like a village without an idiot when he leaves. :thumright:
  7. I remeber one O Boat coxn who joined at the same time as me and the skipper. The victualling account was severely in the red and cox'n was tasked with sorting this out. After the first month he brought the books to the skipper and the deficit was falling. The skipper asked how this had been achieved as there had been no reduction in the quality or quantity of the food. The Cox'n replied that he had discovered our accountwriter inboard was a wren known by all as Trainsmash (She was not gifted in the looks department at all) and his only regret that on the first night due to bad lanning on his behalf he had had to purchase a packet of three from the slot machine.

    As the months went by our deficit fell and the food got even better (despite the attempts of baby chef) and the Cox'n who always remebered to raid his medical supplies before going to the inboard mess continued smiling.

    A happy boat.
  8. Another dit about a Grocer we had ( not Carrots C*****N this time). One of the lads had gashed his head quite badly whilst at sea, and in those days the Grocer was also the medic. Deciding that the wound definately needed stitching, the Grocer got out the "do-it-yourself-emergency-surgery book to boff up on the procedure. The unfortunate patient was summoned to the SR's mess, and watched with trepidation as the Grocer prepared needle and thread with which to sew up the wound. Just before he began the procedure, he opened a locker, took out a bottle of pussers finest, and poured a large tot. "Great" thought the patient, "Anaesthetic" only to watch with horror as the Grocer downed the tot himself, before saying "right lad, let's get started!!"
  9. Skyvet I thought it was going to be the button dit were the grocer stitch the blokes head up and finished it by stitching on a burberry button. The grocer said that stokes had to report to the SRs mess each night during the dogs to have the dressing changed so the 'rats' could have a chuckle.
    I'm sure it was Opossum in the 70s
  10. Do you remember the Boatel in Dartmouth,not there now.
    The hotel we used was on the front run by some German lady but I cant remember her name.
    Cracking run ashore in the British Legion club and Floating Bridge Inn.
    One of the pubs there still does Cheesy,hammy Eggy.

  11. The Raleigh Hotel IIRC...I know who you mean but I can't remember either...

    Oh...and George Lanfer was swain on Walrus too 79ish...
  12. I certainly remember the Boatel from my days at BRNC, can't say I drank there all that often, preferred the Queens hotel along the front a bit, or the Seven Stars (a cider house) if the cash was a bit short. The Boatel used to attract the BRNC custom by employing well but not over endowed young femail bartenders, but sold poor ale and overcharged, hence my preference for the Queens, equally attractive bar maid but better prices and better beer.
  13. One favourite 'grocer' memory is AUTEC running in CHURCHILL in '84 post refit. The Grocer and the UC1 had the franchise on the canteen, and the Grocer thought that he would make a killing stocking Hershey bars. He bought hundreds of the horrible little things, but after trying one you knew that this american c**p chocolate was not worth the money so the stock lay on the shelves. The grocer couldn't even give them away at 4 o'clockers! Took a big hit on the canteen's profits - serve him right for being so greedy!
  14. Ah yes, the (in)famous harry the bastard. He had the boat reaching for the tissues when he made the pipe for all to attend a sale of kit after the Killick 4endy was killed in a car crash. His pipe went along the lines of "there are two kinds of BIBs in Submarines, and the important one is Buddies In Boats, so get your arses inboard and your wallets out!"
  15. True Grocer dit similar to Skyvets. The tanky sliced his hand in half with a cheese wire while cutting a lump off for 9 oclockers, a real mess required stitching and hospitalisation. The grocer "Upstart" an ex FC Gunner immediately grabbed a stapler and held the two bits of flesh together and duly stapled them. When removed to hospital the surgeon praised his efforts and said had he not done as he did the tanky may have lost part of his hand. A Problem as the hand that w##ks the coxswain?
  16. The Raleigh Hotel IIRC...I know who you mean but I can't remember either...

    I do remember we used to call her Fraulien Cow for some reason.

    The Raleigh Hotel is a shop now I think,certainly not a hotel anymore.

    Baby Scouse was called Mong on the Onslaught,and the Killick chef was Matt Diloon(name changed)
  17. I thought the bird who owned the pub was Dutch?? Its owned by that Chef blokey that is on Great British dishes program on the tele.
    Yep Floaters was anothr good run in fact the whole town was a good run
  18. I did hear of a grocer who put on curried herrings-in for BREAKFAST on one of the Devonport A's: was assured it wasn't a dit, but can anyone verify ?
  19. We ussed to have herrings-in followed by penquins for puds.(Blue ones were bigger)
  20. best cox'n ever darkie glover. all the best Neville wherever you are.

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