War Hero
Young McTavish comes down from the hills to join the local regiment. After his medical at the AFCO the Sgt calls him in.

"McTavish we have a rpoblem - you've only got half a willy"

"Aye a sheep bit it off last winter"

"Well you can't join with such a medical problem"

"So what you are saying is that I have to be a complete prick to join the Para's?"