Medical examination

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by wet_blobby, Dec 30, 2010.

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  1. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    So, there I am down at the Docs, it's medical time again for a work permit extention before the residency thing kicks in. I'm playing the game, I gave up booze some stage within the recommended 48 hrs prior to urine and blood tests, didn't have a smoke for 30 mins before the examination, showered, fasted.

    So we do all the usual form filling...are you a nutter? Are you disabled? Do you come from a third world country riddled with TB etc.

    We get to the wieght/height bit, blood pressure etc then it gets interesting, I start taking my cloths off and pull faces at the Doc...? He then taps and prods me then.....then.... It's

    Doc " Ok if you can lie on the bed and drop your pants"
    Blobbs "Awesome.. :? .."

    He then has a good old cup of the bolloxs, has a feel up the side of them then starts playing around with my dick, rolls the foreskin has a look at the japs eye etc..... What the fcuk is all that about?

    To make matters worse he's a german, "thank you" sounds more like he wants to do me a favour.... 8O

    This didn't happen last time I had a medical, have I just pulled?
     
  2. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Some would say you're being homophobic.

    If it was a fit female Doc, would you have complained? :wink:
     
  3. Does this not happen in the first medical after applying?
     
  4. I had one like that every day in basic training. Didn't everyone ? 8O :oops: :oops:
     
  5. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Only if you ask nicely.

    In this case Blobbs has trapped & not yet realised.
     
  6. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I admit if it was a fit female Doc or even one of the nurses from the mythical bus I wouldn't have a problem....not that I do...... 8)

    I just thought it a tad different from every other medical I've had in the last decade or so.

    Suppose I should be grateful someone apart from me touched it.
     
  7. Hmm sounds like a dammed spiffing experience to me. Were there by any chance two student Doc's in attendance C/W fisherman's crabbing rubber gloves. 8O
     
  8. I was always worried that even though I am heterosexual and if it were a male doctor, something would happen just out of nerves.

    Or I would dare myself not to think of a lady, but then inevitably I do.

    I might just need to get out more, I work lonely lonely night shifts. :(
     
  9. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I was praying for blood but, alas, stage fright.
     
  10. When you took your clothes off did you notice his folded on a chair and him in just a doctors gown only?
    If so a large Berliner sausage may be coming your way,find a pillow to bite!
     
  11. Under such circumstances the only course of action is to grit ones teeth and think of England, a suggestion next time you go to the Doc's wear wing mirrors :oops:
     
  12. Blobbs you are ferkin lucky not to have heard those fateful words. Please lay on your side and bring your knees up to your chin.
    Then you hear the slap of rubber gloves going on from behind your back, then the swirl of the top of the lube jar coming off and then it's" JESUS CHRIST"!!!!!!!!! "INCOMING",........You feel as if your arse hole is being reamed out, Your hole body being violated, and then he says, your fine, slightly enlarged,but ok for a man of your age.You stager down off the bed with tears streaming from your eye's and lube squirting from your arse.
    Thank you very much Doctor, you hear yourself say as you try and not mince out of the room 8O
     
  13. Blobby

    Is this actually true or the product of your fevered imagination?

    :lol:
     
  14. I know the procedure only too well the last time I had it done there was a student female Doc present .When the Doc withdrew his finger he had left the rubber glove behind to much giggling and tittering going behind me back hence the wing mirrors 8) .
     
  15. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Sol, it's true.... :?

    Roger....When I was a young thruster in 40 I was in sickbay one morning...cant remember why, nowt serious...anyhows....There was a young marine with a problem that involved knees to chest, foetal position, on the bed facing the wall. The RN medic had one hand on his shoulder, the fingers of the other were up his arrse. The other RN medic present then crept up and placed his hand on the poor bootys other shoulder..........

    After about 1.009 seconds you'd never seen a bootneck move so fast..... :p
     
  16. That's fucking hilarious!
     
  17. You lot have had it easy,when I had my prostate cancer confirmed I had to go in the place and have a dozen darts fired into the prostate by an overseas Commonwealth Doctor with a dart gun with a gay male nurse in attendance!
    Tremendous Pain wasn't eased by the copious amounts of KY applied.
    I knew then the Gay thing was a not in my remit as I crapped a lot of blood for a week!
    Enjoy your meal!Should have posted a video of it on U tube.
     
  18. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    You'd have thought the NHS could afford to have had a Commonwealth doctor fire the dart gun in the same country as the patient, but needs must I s'pose. Did they paint a target?
     
  19. The original post sounds like an initiation for some kind of gay lumberjack ritual :D

    all sounds very..................odd 8O
     
  20. Blobby

    Having had a look at the relevant NZ medical forms online, the only thing I can see which might be relevant is question D14:

    "Are there any abnormalities in the genito-urinary system?"

    I can only imagine he was trying to be thorough in his answer to that question ........

    :)

    PS AngryDoc will know what this was all about, I'm sure.
     

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