Medical dictionary

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Salty_Dog, Jun 9, 2007.

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  1. I know there are some medics on RR but for the others I thought I'd provide a brief guide to some medical terms in common usage:

    Anally - Occurring yearly
    Artery - Study of paintings
    Bacteria - Back door of cafeteria
    Caesarean section - District of Rome
    Cat scan - Searching for kitty
    Cauterise - Made eye contact with her
    Colic - Sheep dog
    Coma - A punctuation mark
    Congenital - Friendly
    Diarrhoea - Journal of daily events
    Dilate - To live long
    Enema - Not a friend
    Fester - Quicker
    Fibula - A small lie
    Genital - Non-Jewish
    Grippe - Suitcase
    Hangnail - Coathook
    Impotent - Distinguished, well known
    Intense pain - Torture whilst camping
    Labour pain - Got hurt at work
    Medical staff - Doctor's cane
    Morbid - Higher offer
    Nitrate - Twice the day rate
    Node - Was aware of
    Outpatient - Person who had fainted
    Pap smear - Fatherhood test
    Pelvis - Cousin of Elvis
    Post operative - Royal Mail worker
    Protein - Favouring young people
    Rectum - Damn near killed 'em
    Recovery room - place to do upholstery
    Rheumatic - Amorous
    Secretion - Hiding anything
    Seizure - Roman emperor
    Serology - Study of knighthood
    Tablet - Small pill
    Terminal illness - Sickness at airport
    Tibia - Country in North Africa
    Tumour - an extra pair
    Urine - Opposite of you're out
    Varicose - Located nearby
    Vein - Conceited

    Hope that clears up a few things for you. :whew:
  2. God! I could have done with this medical dictionary 16 yrs ago??
  3. Why's that then aussiepint? What happened 16 years ago?
  4. OK...sniff...sniff...I'll confess...I was sitting my final nursing exams...wahhhh...I'm nearly as old as Wet Blobby...wahhhh...sniff...sniff

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