Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by pcampbell87, Oct 21, 2007.
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Just read this at onceamarine and it cracked me up...
Thanks Made me laugh... Good find and a good link thanks
On Traff night as well , lol ,
Probably make killick next week.
Waggon wheels getting smaller? They most certainly are, not that I've had one for very many years of course. In the 1950's and 1960's they would fill your hand quite easily, but they then began to shink in size until even the smaller hand of a child would wrap around them without struggling.
It's much the same for almost everything now though, the manufacturers just reduce the quantity and maintain the same price in order to gain exta profit, I'd love to see a comparison chart of the weight of a range of products made during the last 40 years and their relative cost in terms of inflation.
Bye for now,
That story reminds me of when the MGRM visited the unit one day, everyone is on parade and he's doing the inspection. He stops infront of one of the lads and asks the usual small talk crap.
MGRM "Hello Marine, what SQ are you then?"
Bootie "Cook, Sir"
MGRM "Cook, we dont have cooks in the corps your a chef lad"
He then moves on a few paces and stops in front of another marine.
MGRM "hello son, what SQ are you?"
Bootie "chef sir"
(A now very smiley MGRM) "Excellent, how long have you been a chef?"
Bootie "About 10 seconds sir."
MGRM moves swiftly on......
oh at last - i giggled today!!
very very funny!! Everyone in the office liked this.
Showed these at work and they brought the house down!!
Your station roof leaking aswell then mate??
what about the SR who walks in the galley and asks the chef
"whats for scran chef"
"chicken chief to you laddie
just remembered another one,
lad see's chef and ask's" whats for pudding chef"
"its not pudding in th RN, its Duff"
"whats for duff then chef"
Whats a roof?????
Captain SMs divisions, Faslane 1971. He suddenly stops in front of me (to a chorus of groans from the Skipper all down the line).
"Is this your first submarine ?"
"No sir, I was on RESOLUTION before".
"And what were you before you joined the Royal Navy ?"
"A civilian, sir"
For some reason, he walked away, shaking his head..............
July 1955, Mountbatten comes to inspect the last cadet passing-out Divisions on board HMS Triumph. Stops in front of Indian cadet: Vice-Regal interest aroused.
'Where do you come from?'
(icily) 'Yes, I can see that'.
... that cadet went on to become a Vice Admiral in the Indian Navy. While the RN was putting him through the attitude changer, he picked up three days stoppage of leave. Promptly went below and bought three of his less-well-heeled chums. Lined them up outside the cadet office. To the Cadet Gunner: 'Sah, I have three days stoppage of leave, yes?'
(solemnly, reaching for his hand-broom): 'Yes indeed xxxxx'
Brightly: 'I have three substitutes, I go ashore now please?'
AB gunner on the table for being 3 hours adrift
jimmy " why were you three hours adrift ?"
AB gunner "woke up, went to leave the house but was double blobbed on my doorstep and couldnt throw a six to save me life"
jimmy laffed so hard he got off.
PMSL all through this thread . fxxxxxxxxxxxg brilliant ditts ,
I remember being on Divisions in 96 at Excellent on my POLC, stood next to an oppo, we were both POCT's (ex LRO(G)'s) and 3 badgemen. The Chief GI walked up to my oppo and said
He asked my oppo what tech/tiff branch he was and he told him
"I'm a CT Chief"
"Fuck me, a POCT with three badges" - to which my oppo replied
"Fuck me a Chief GI that can count!!".
Laughter all round!!!!
excellent lads - keep em comin ..........
PS ........ sorry I can't contribute!
Also out in JSSU(Cyprus), was bimbling through Ay. Nik with an oppo, both in rig. A pongo major strolled by and we didn't salute, he said:
"Don't you salute Major's in the Royal Navy", my oppo replied very cooly,
"No Sir, we don't have any Major's in the Royal Navy"
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