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Matelot Songs.

alacrity174

War Hero
All right lads, I'm in need of your help, it's been a long time since I was part of a SODs Opera or had a mess singsong and seem to have forgotten more than I thought.

Can any of you ols salts out there get me the words to "Has Anybody seen JC"

I have been having disagreement swith onew of the lads I work with, also an ex matelot and we just can't agree on the lyrics.

Cheers
 

BARNEYRNSM

War Hero
feet together arms out wide its hard to boogey when you are crucified has anybody seen JC.he's so cool he's so fine he turns water into wine.He's fine he's so cool,walks across my swimming pool.
 

Jimmy_Green

War Hero
It's not exactly a matelot song. These are some of the lyrics I learnt long before I joined the mob...

Six foot two, eyes of blue, he can walk on water too, has anybody seen JC?
He's so cool, he's so fine, he turned water into wine, has anybody seen JC?
The Virgin Mary, she's the most, she got goosed by the Holy Ghost, has anybody seen JC?

That's all I can come up with without doing an internet search, which you are more than capable of doing yourself.
 

DeepHeat

Badgeman
Anybody Seen J C ?
Chorus
Has anybody seen J C
J C, J C, J C, J C.
Not since Easter Monday,
Riding on a Donkey.
Has anybody seen J C
J C, J C, J C, J C

Virgin born, head of thorn
Resurrects the dead at dawn

That J C, he’s devine
Changes water into wine.

Virgin Mary, She’s the most
She’s been fuck by the Hole Ghost

Cleans up temples it is said
Raises spastics from their bed

J C, He’s so cool
Boogies across my swimming pool

Took three loaves and five fish
Feed five thousand piece of piss

Lots of songs, raises cheers,
In the charts two thousand years

Holes in hands, Holes in Feet,
Carries his cross down the street,

Holy Ghost, He’s the most,
Gets them pissed on wine and toast,

Banished fear and gave us hope,
Went one better than the Pope,

Love he gave, faith he took,
Still the Worlds best selling book,

Save our souls, fun we poke,
Sorry God its just a joke.

J C stands five foot nine,
Plays scrum half for Palestine.

Arms out wide, feet are tied,
It’s hard to boogie when your crucified.
 

Troglodyte

Lantern Swinger
Does anyone have all the words to "The Preacher in the Dockyard Church"?, as far as I can recall it went something like..

"The Preacher in the Dockyard Church one Sunday Morning said,

Some dirty Bastards shit himself I will punch his fecking head,

When up jumped Jack from the seats at the back, and in a
mighty voice replied,

I,m the dirty fecker 'oo shit 'imself and I couldn,t care feckin less,
I couldn,t care fecking less....................... "

The mists of time have dulled my memory somewhat as to the rest :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :)
 

TimeToJoinUp

War Hero
Never heard it before, but google tells me that this might be it...


The preacher in the dockyard church one Sunday morning said,
"Some dirty bastard shit himself - I'll punch his fucking head."
Then up stood Jack in the third row back and he spat a greasy gob:
"I'm the one who shit his fucking self, you can chew my carroty knob!
You can chew my carroty knob!"

Then Jenny Wren got up to sing and she warbled like a thrush.
The preacher in the pulpit said, "I think you're fucking lush."
"That's right," said she, "and I've got a fee - it is thirty bob a time."
Then a bosun in the back stood up, "Stand back you dirty bastard she's mine,
Stand back you dirty bastard she's mine."

The organist came down the aisle with the organ on his back.
The preacher in the pulpit said, "You can march that bastard back."
The organist played Heart of Oak, the choir sang Auld Lang Syne.
Then the preacher in the pulpit said, "You've had your fucking time,
You've had your fucking time!"

You can get the words to almost any song or poem by typing a line or two into google.
 

Troglodyte

Lantern Swinger
TimeToJoinUp said:
Never heard it before, but google tells me that this might be it...


The preacher in the dockyard church one Sunday morning said,
"Some dirty bastard shit himself - I'll punch his * head."
Then up stood Jack in the third row back and he spat a greasy gob:
"I'm the one who shit his * self, you can chew my carroty knob!
You can chew my carroty knob!"

Then Jenny Wren got up to sing and she warbled like a thrush.
The preacher in the pulpit said, "I think you're * lush."
"That's right," said she, "and I've got a fee - it is thirty bob a time."
Then a bosun in the back stood up, "Stand back you dirty bastard she's mine,
Stand back you dirty bastard she's mine."

The organist came down the aisle with the organ on his back.
The preacher in the pulpit said, "You can march that bastard back."
The organist played Heart of Oak, the choir sang Auld Lang Syne.
Then the preacher in the pulpit said, "You've had your * time,
You've had your * time!"

You can get the words to almost any song or poem by typing a line or two into google.


That,s it, that,s the very fellow, Cheers matey, my word it,s all coming back to me now, happy days. :D :D :D :D :D :D
 
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