Mastermind for Rum Rationers

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by HarryBosch, Feb 4, 2008.

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  1. On the 'MP says bootnecks are not thick' thread, Naval Gazer suggested that bootnecks could one day appear on Mastermind. I like the idea so much I ve started this thread. All you have to do is come up with a candidate and four or five questions. (I bet some bugger has already done this :threaten: ). Here is my contribution:


    John Humphries (JH): Your name, please?

    NZB: NZ Bootneck

    JH: And your specialist subject?

    NZB: The Fighting Librarians of 45 Commando Royal Marines.

    JH: NZ Bootneck you have chosen 'The Fighting Librarians of 45 Commando Royal Marines' ... Your time starts now. In the Falklands, how many librarians assaulted 'Two Sisters' armed only with an SLR and the complete volumes of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica?

    NZB: One

    JH: Correct. How did the Fighting Librarian's encode the location of Argentine positions when sending SITREPS?

    NZB: They used the Dewey Decimal Classification System in which the ten main classes 00 - 900 were assigned to geographical features such as 'Granite', 'More Granite' and 'Big feck off slabs of Granite'.

    JH: Correct. On the yomp across the Falklands, how did the Fighting Librarians shelter from the elements?

    NZB: By building low sangars from Scouting for Boys by Robert Baden-Powell.

    JH: Correct. What would a Royal Marine find under Dewey Number: 636.93233?

    NZB: A training pamphlet: The General Purpose Machine Gun in the Sustained Fire Role.

    JH: Incorrect. On sentry duty, what came after 'Advance one and be recognised'?

    NZB: mmmm? .... er...... tut ...... mmmmm ... pass ....

    JH: Correct. Which rifle company was .... (BEEP, BEEP) ... I've started so I'll finish ... Which rifle company was named after a film regularly borrowed from the Fighting Librarian's DVD collection?

    NZB: mmmm .... Yankee Sluts?

    JH: No, I'm sorry it was Zulu . You had no passes and two incorrect answer. Under the Dewey Number: 636.93233 a Royal Marine would find Nigel Taylor's My Pet Hamster. NZ Bootneck, you have scored 4 points!

    Edited after complaints from viewers concerning Mr Humphries' basic numeracy skills.
  2. 4 points?
    NZ Bootneck?
    I don't think so . The only thing memorable so long as Bootnecks is concerned for me, was one CSM detailing me off to "Fall in, in three ranks--One behind the other twice"
  3. John Humphries (J.H) Your name please??
    XRD Ex rubberdagger
    JH Your specialist subject please??
    XRD The life and times of the rubberdagger
    JH. XRD Your specialist subject is the life and times of the rubberdagger and your time starts now
    JH. Complete the phrase "By sea By land"
    XRD By sunday Teatime??
    JH Correct
    JH. How did 592 troop change the band Right Said Fred's song lyrics from I'm too sexy for my shirt to add to their troop T-shirts??
    XRD I'm too sexy for this troop??
    JH Correct
    JH. At CTC on their phase 1 course what was the correct wording Sgt Jamie Jameson used to describe the RMR??
    XRD Absolutely brilliant and a credit to the Corps??
    JH Incorrect
    JH What was the favourite passtime of CDO Coy when deployed to Norway on their Novices course??
    XRD Stealing rations from the BV and throwing thundies at one another because they were cold and bored??
    JH Correct
    JH Complete this sentance when describing how to strip and assemble the favoured Rubberdagger weopon of the time the 7.62mm SLR "From the front....... and from the rear,,,,,,,,,,
    XRD From the front like a cunt and from the rear like a queer??
    JH Correct
    JH. On your phase 2 course what was Sgt Rowleys favoured expression when trying to get across to nods what he was saying?
    XRD Am i talking fcuking swahili or what??
    JH Correct
    JH Describe in 3 words the RMR Sgt who was the only reservist to complete the Cadre course (BPT to you young thrusters) and then take over.......
    bleep bleep bleep
    JH I've started so i'll finish.
    JH Describe in 3 words the RMR Sgt who was the only reservist to complete the Cadre course (BPT to you young thrusters) and then take over training company??
    XRD A sadistic Cnut??
    JH Incorrect. In actual fact the correct wording was "A complete cnut"

    JH. XRD you got two questions incorrect. Jamie Jameson in fact called you a bunch of cunts who needed to buck up their ideas and sent you all on a nice 6 mile speed march to help you digest the fact!!

    XRD you scored 5 points

    edited for poor counting skills which is another rubberdagger speciality

    :thumright: :thumright:
  4. "Bootneck, Bootneck, can't catch me!"

    (Spitting blood.....)

    "Cor... he can run fast!"

    The old ones are the best.
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    That JH bloke is shite at counting......... :bball:
  6. :thumright: :thumright:
  7. Sounds like he knew you didn't know how to do it :)

    P.S. How many non-threads do you hope to begin today?
  8. blobs is right Harry, that JH bloke is crap at counting, he said for NZB 'You had no passes and one incorrect answer' er I count 2 incorrect
  9. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Mikh....shhhh, harry will change it and we'll end up looking thick..... :dwarf:
  10. Cheers! I was in a rush. Honest :)

    Well, we've had two contestants from Royal. Any navy blue Rum Rats going to sit in the chair?
  11. Pardon?
  12. Blobs, Harry wouldn't do that, would he?

    Anyway he has already posted that he was in a rush, and if he does go back and edit, it shows that he has edited, just not what the edit was, there that makes sense, I think!!!
  13. What's the problem? Have you read the thread?
  14. Mikh, I'm sure you could come up with a Mastermind contestant. Andym? :dwarf:
  15. His reading of the thread is a no goer due to it not having anything to do with the 1SL & 2SL. That coupled with the fact that he's Australian and theres an obvious time delay on how quickly his swede works......strewth Norman wheres your xxxx you xxxx??
  16. I have been tasked with doing a Mastermind for the PO Stoker - 'The contents of a well stocked shed'. However I am not as witty as our resident booties (plus I have a real job) so it may take some time, additionally I have no idea what is kept in a shed.
  17. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    .. :dwarf: .. Ask him if he's been "whackin off in his tool shed"

    No, seriously sheds are for keeping kidnapped women in, thats why they're at the bottom of the one can hear the cries for help. :w00t:
  18. It's what he does with the vice, electric cabling and a snooker ball that always worried me and Bergs when we were holed up there on an O.P. But it was Rosies Norks that nearly blew our cover (so to speak)

    :thumright: :thumright:
  19. Rosie, see your PMs
  20. Oh i get you, trying to muscle in eh??

    :thumright: :thumright:

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