Marriage

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by janner, Apr 13, 2013.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

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    Why MARRY?
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    You have two choices in life:
    You can stay single and be miserable,
    or get married and wish you were dead.
    __________

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
    Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
    Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.
    __________

    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
    Husband Wanted.
    Next day she received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing:
    You can have mine.
    __________

    When a woman steals your husband,
    there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
    __________

    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
    __________

    A little boy asked his father,
    Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
    Father replied,
    I don't know son, I'm still paying.
    __________

    A young son asked,
    Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

    Dad replied,
    That happens in every country, son.
    __________

    Then there was a woman who said,
    I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
    and by then, it was too late.

    __________

    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    __________

    If you want your spouse to listen and
    pay strict attention to every word you say

    talk in your sleep.
    __________

    Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
    men would go through life
    thinking they had no faults at all.

    __________

    First guy says, My wife's an angel!
    Second guy remarks,
    You're lucky, mine's still alive.
    __________

    A Woman's Prayer
    Dear Lord,
    I pray for wisdom to understand a man; to love and to forgive him; and for patience, for his moods.
    Because Lord,
    if I pray for strength I'll just beat him to death!!
    __________

    AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.

    When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
    After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.

    The blind man replies,
    If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.





























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  2. A jockey and his brand new bride arrive unannouced at a country hotel. The jockey asks "Can we have a suite for our honeymoon?". Receptionist replies "Would you like the bridal?". Jockey says "No thanks, I'll manage with me spurs!".
     

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