man test

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by aaaaa, Feb 22, 2007.

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  1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
    A. Lovemaking.
    B. Poking.
    C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

    2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've
    both shared:
    A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
    B. Your blood-test results.
    C. Five tequila slammers.

    3. You time your orgasm so that:
    A. Your partner climaxes first.
    B. You both climax simultaneously
    C. You don't miss ESPN SportsCenter.

    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    A. Healthy, creative love-play.
    B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
    C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.

    5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with
    is:
    A. The best part of the experience.
    B. The second best part of the experience.
    C. $100 extra.

    6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
    You tell her that it is:
    A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
    B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
    C. A conservative estimate

    7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    A. A myth.
    B. An oxymoron.
    C. A moron.

    8. Foreplay is to sex as:
    A. An appetizer is to entree.
    B. Primer is to paint.
    C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

    9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
    the end of a relationship?
    A. "I hope we can still be friends."
    B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
    C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

    10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
    B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
    C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


    Evaluating Results:

    If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you
    really ARE a man.

    If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a
    little confused.

    If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN"
     
  2. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

  3. On yer knees' bitch, no more Mr. Nice Guy....
     
  4. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

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