Man has sex with cars

Shakey

War Hero
From metro.co.uk - I'm not making this shit up!

In stunning news that will have wide ranging implications for many years to come, a man has been found who likes having sex with cars.

The details of mechanic Chris Donald's alleged romantic vehicular liaisons have been unearthed by (naturally) The Sun - who claim that in addition to a large number of cars, Mr Donald has also done the dirty with two boats and a jetski.

Mr Donald apparently says that his sexual fetish may have been triggered by formative childhood experiences watching Knight Rider.

'When I was a young boy I used to see human qualities in cars,' he says. 'As I grew up I noticed I was having feelings towards cars and they began catching my eye in a certain way.'

He has also reportedly met up with at least twenty other people with similar fetishes, who have brought their cars over to him so that he can have sex with them.

His current paramour is a Jaguar X-Type with cream leather upholstery. He also gives many of his loves names, including Laura, a Peugeot 205, and a BMW 520i called Alexandria.

Mr Donald, according to The Sun, also maintains a website on which he writes erotic fiction about car-diddling, and has posted a manual entitled 'How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle.'

Advice from the manual includes 'The tailpipe isn't the only option! If it interests you get hold of a silicon sleeve from Clone Zone or some other tool to make life easier on your tool' and 'Roleplay involving the car is another spice. Needless to say solo roleplay requires vivid imagination and the ability to suspend rational thought.'

The person who wrote the manual 'How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle' also has a large number of blogs on which he hasn't written very much at all, and variously gives his real name as Richard or David, so make of that what you will. There are, however, a number of pictures of a truck called Marcus, who has a lovely pair of customised exhaust pipes.



RELATED ITEMS

Today's top weird headlines
Sex in fast lane halts traffic
Dead dog sex man faces jail
No fine despite sex with bull clip
Horse sex pervert news overload
 
Gives a new meaning to BANGERS !!!!!!!! :grin:

How does he shag the car, does he use KY on the exhaust pipe ?, doe's the the car give head ?, if he goes to a car park, is it an orgie !!!

MIND BOGGLES !!!!!!!!!!!
 
A bit of advice - wait until the exhaust has cooled down first.

If you really want to be dirty, try taking it up "the other way" like the fuel inlet or oil filler.

Going to have a problem explaining it to the AA man if you get stuck though.
 

Stripey_G

War Hero
Maybe he uses the gear stick in some way????????Ouch! that must bring tears to his eyes??
Tried it on with my 4x4 last night, but "she" said she had a headache!! :grin: :grin: :grin: :wink: :wink:

(Two-timing bitch was being shagged by my neighbour the night before!!)
:evil: :evil:
 
TattooDog said:
A bit of advice - wait until the exhaust has cooled down first.

If you really want to be dirty, try taking it up "the other way" like the fuel inlet or oil filler.

Going to have a problem explaining it to the AA man if you get stuck though.
That would burn my knob, ouch !!!!,

The AA would interesting though, good to see his face :twisted:

Strange bloke wanting to shag a car, but what ever turns you on I suppose!!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS Press release: Man who blackmailed teenager into sex acts has sentence increased MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Man who attacked cousin at Woking wedding has sentence increased MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Guildford man has manslaughter sentence increased MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man has prison time increased after drunken assault MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man found with Class A drugs in ear has sentence increased MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man who stabbed acquaintance to death has sentence reviewed MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man who sexually assaulted a young girl has sentence increased MoD News 0
2_deck_dash Sad news. Stan the Man has crossed the bar. Diamond Lil's 43
MoD_RSS Beware of rogue 'man and van' rubbish removers on Facebook MoD News 0
Stirlin Peter Green....Man of the World. Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 0
MoD_RSS Man who repeatedly stabbed student on a Loughborough street in jail for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for Northampton man who killed another man in pub attack MoD News 0
Alfacharlie Man City v Burnley WLM The Quarterdeck 9
MoD_RSS UK-Pakistan close working helps convict man for murder of Dr Imran Farooq in UK MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Manchester man who distributed child pornography jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Leeds man who assaulted his partners’ babies is jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for Walsall man who imported illegal firearms MoD News 0
soleil Guardian: "Man Accidentally Ejects Himself From Fighter Jet During Surprise Flight" The Fleet Air Arm 4
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for London man who kidnapped and sexually abused eight-year-old boy MoD News 0
D The Hazards to Man of Nuclear and Allied Radiations" The Quarterdeck 1
MoD_RSS Hull man fined for illegal transport of waste MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Lewes couple who befriended and robbed disabled man in his own home jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Chickens and man flu top tax evaders’ excuses MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Extensive search after report of man overboard MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Rotherham man who stabbed mother in front of young son jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Man who sexually assaulted 5 year old jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS HM Coastguard volunteer saves man who was choking in Paris restaurant MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Fishing vessel sinks off Isle of Man MoD News 0
soleil Mail: "Real-Life 'Rocket Man' Wearing A Jet Pack Launches From ... HMS Queen Elizabeth" The Fleet 8
Stirlin Rod Stewart.......model man. Hobbies & The Great Indoors 2
MoD_RSS Sunderland man charged over £12,000 for running illegal waste operation MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Treasury publishes Isle of Man VAT review MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Man overboard rescued off Dover 'was wearing lifejacket with good strobe light' MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Waste crime: Bucks man 'after quick buck' fined MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Chesterfield man nets £431 penalty for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Fishing without a licence costs Retford man over £600 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for man convicted of sexual assault on woman MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: £600 penalty for man fishing without licence and removing fish MoD News 0
taffscrivs Isle of Man TT 2019 Sports and Adventure Training 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Illegal waste operation leads to prison term for man and £314,000 compensation for victim MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: North Tyneside man fined for illegal fishing MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Corby man gets a suspended sentence for illegal waste operations MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man found fishing without a licence in Newark nets £600 penalty MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Nottinghamshire man billed £500 for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Fishing without a licence costs Leicestershire man over £560 more than cost of licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Leicestershire man nets £600 fine for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Ilkeston man fined over £600 for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Mailing Medicine Man sentenced for illicit supply MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: North East man fined for permit breach MoD News 0
themuddyduck What do you think? - ANT MIDDLETONS "FIRST MAN IN" The Book Club 0
Similar threads


















































Top