slim
War Hero
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
*FOR EXAMPLE:* One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to Hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough For me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big Unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her
we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I Said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for Me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for
who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.......
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
*FOR EXAMPLE:* One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to Hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough For me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big Unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her
we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I Said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for Me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for
who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.......
