Malawi is determined to “mould responsible and disciplined citizens” with a law banning the breaking of wind. The Local Courts Bill of 2010 is set to be presented before a forthcoming parliamentary session by Justice Minister George Chaponda. The legislation also targets ne'er-do-wells "disturbing religious assemblies", "trespassing on burial places", "insulting the modesty of a woman" or "challenging to fight a duel", as well as those who pass the time by pretending to be a fortune teller... One unimpressed Malawian reportedly commented: “How can this government criminalise the release of intestinal gases? Everyone does that, even if it’s in public or it has an accompanying sound which is boring; making it criminal is a joke of democracy." ® So how do you prove who done the silent one in the lift?