Made me larf,

•take off clothes and place them sectioned in a laundry basket according to colour.
•walk to bathroom wearing dressing gown
•if you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
•look at your physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more leg lifts in the morning
•get in the shower
•use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah and pumice stone
•wash your hair once with sage and cucumber shampoo with 43 added vitamins
•condition your hair with grapefruit and mint-enhanced conditioner
•wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
•wash the rest of your body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash
•shave armpits and legs
•turn off shower
•sponge off all wet surfaces in the shower
•spray mould spots with tile cleaner
•dry with towel the size of a small country
•wrap hair in super absorbent towel
•return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head
•if you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
•spend 40 minutes drying hair with hand held jet engine
•take clothes off while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile
•walk naked to the bathroom
•if you see wife along the way, shake your manhood and make a "woo-hoo" sound
•admire your physique in the mirror and the size of your manhood. Scratch backside
•get in shower
•wash your face
•wash your armpits
•blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off
•spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
•wash your hair with stuff from the bottle nearest to hand
•make a shampoo mohawk
•pee like a racehorse
•rinse and get out of the shower
•fail to notice water on the floor because the curtain was hanging out of the bath
•admire size of manhood in mirror again
•leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on
•return to bedroom with towel around waist
•if you pass wife, pull off towel and make a "woo-hoo" sound
•throw wet towel on bed
•run fingers through hair twice to dry it
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