Made me chuckle

kingoftwigs

War Hero
Thought I'd share these,

In the 1400's a law was set forth in Englandthat a man was allowed to beat
his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of
thumb"

-Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and
Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can
read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe Amzanig huh?

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and
you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Enjoy :razz:
 

moondog

War Hero
"75% of people reading this will try and lick their elbow"

Thank god. I thought I was the only saddo.

Gotta go. I,ve done my neck in !!
 

Jimmy_Green

War Hero
RightyTightyLeftyLoosy said:
I JUST LICKED MY OWN EYEBROW! (admittidly I had to shave the BsaatrD off first)! Cheers mate. :mrgreen:
I didn't have to shave my eyebrow off to lick it. Any interested ladies may PM me. :razz:
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
For KING OF TWIGS, IN ANSWER TO THE POSER:Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Well what about One hundred And one?
 

dixie_gooner

Lantern Swinger
Jimmy_Green said:
RightyTightyLeftyLoosy said:
I JUST LICKED MY OWN EYEBROW! (admittidly I had to shave the BsaatrD off first)! Cheers mate. :mrgreen:
I didn't have to shave my eyebrow off to lick it. Any interested ladies may PM me. :razz:
I don't think ladies are that interested in men with excessively long eyebrows :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

silverfox

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Indeed - I've known several 'someones' who have only been to glad to everyones.......


did I get that right??
 

dondon

MIA
silverfox said:
Indeed - I've known several 'someones' who have only been to glad to everyones.......


did I get that right??


Dont know , I've read it several times , :roll:
 

josiecats

War Hero
dondon said:
silverfox said:
Indeed - I've known several 'someones' who have only been to glad to everyones.......


did I get that right??


Dont know , I've read it several times , :roll:
ermmmm know Im not dim..........but I sooooooooooooooo did not get that. So expalin please........... come on I know you men like teaching us
girlies :twisted:
 
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